3 C’s to Help More and Hurt Less
It’s Only Human
We were almost to the third floor on Monday afternoon. Excitement was building. The third floor is where we see Nay-Nay.
But when we knocked on the door, and Nay-Nay bounded out with all her dog energy, her owner Doug gave us a warning. He said that Nay-Nay had her rabies shot that morning. He pointed to her sore spot.
How did we respond? By not petting Nay-Nay on that sore spot.
It was the human thing to do.
3 C’s to Help, Not Hurt
This has been another week of mass shootings and bad news, disasters and deaths.
Even in our own homes—where we feel safest with those we love the most—we’ve likely each had a negative conversation or a hard moment along the way.
Despite our best intentions, we often hurt and get hurt by each other.
But it needn’t leave us feeling helpless or hopeless. Positive steps are available if we’ll take them.
Here are 3 C’s we can use to help each other more and hurt each other less.
1 – Get CLOSER
Take a step in. If “evil does its work from a distance,” bridge a gap. Knock on the door (literally or metaphorically). Show up in person when possible. Be the face, the hand, the voice of tangible love. Put flesh on Jesus again.
Stopping by to pet Nay-Nay each week may be a small thing, but the proximity keeps our friendship alive with her family.
2 – Stay in CONVERSATION
Guessing each others’ thoughts and making false assumptions are relationship killers. Instead, practice engaging in longer conversations. Ask better questions. Listen closer to actual answers. Then ask more questions again. It’s how we learn to understand each other. We can’t solve the big problems until we get a grip on the small ones, one conversation at a time.
Nay-Nay obviously couldn’t explain to us why her back would be sore. But Doug could. We humans can use words. Let’s do so with intention and care.
3 – Show COMPASSION
Humans are designed as ultrasocial beings. We’re born to bond. Watch for others’ wounds. Be tender around pain. Show active concern. Hearts are helped through compassionate words and actions. Use self-care with your own hurts, too. Everybody matters, including yourself.
We knew the toddler with us to see Nay-Nay wouldn’t have understood the conversation about her sore spot, so we guided his hands when he stepped in to pet her. We can show compassion for other humans this way too: help our friends help other friends, protecting them from further hurt when possible.
Help, Not Hurt
All around us today, people are hurting in one way or another. Ourselves included.
Watch for the tender spots. Cater to the wounded. We can’t heal every pain (maybe none of the pains?), but we can at least stop layering on additional suffering.
Be a helper, not a hurter.
Love is the human thing to do.
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Lisa, what a practical explanation of Matthew 22.37-40. It’s pretty simple. As Jesus said, the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others. And, in fact, those two commands sum up all the law and the prophets. But you put flesh on His words today.
A lovely post Lisa.
blessings, Jennifer
These are great tips. It helps a lot when we try to listen to others and look at them with compassion.