I double-check my notes. I’m on the second floor of my local public library. The call number for the library book is correct. But where is the book? Maybe it has been shelved wrong by mistake.

That’s when I hear the noise.

A loud bark! Directly in my ear.

I jerk around . . . to find a woman brush past me, not a dog, like it sounded.

After barking, she smirks. Then she walks away.

A couple other people come rushing up beside me now. They are clearly disturbed, and ask, “Did that woman just bark at you, too?”

I pause for a split second. I know I have options for my response.

We almost always have options, even when we’re not aware of them.

The Agreements

In 2014, I read a small book of Toltec wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements. (I recommend it.)

Ruiz shares four statements he lives by. They are virtuous and respectful toward all humans. (Read Ruiz’s four agreements here.)

After I finished the book, I tweaked the statements to create my own four agreements for life.

I wrote them on a sticky note and put them on my bedroom mirror. I don’t live them as well as I’d like, but I’m not finished yet.

My first agreement is this:

# 1. Give others the benefit of the doubt.

[Here are all four agreements.
1-Give the benefit of the doubt | 2-Let go of being right | 3-Don’t take it personally | 4-Just show up]

But how? How can we practically give others the benefit of the doubt?

5 Ways to Give the Benefit of the Doubt

1. Create a Better Story

It’s not easy. We’re wired to distrust uncertainty.

So when we don’t know the whole story (which we rarely do), our minds fill in the gaps. And we don’t naturally assume innocent until proven guilty.

Instead of assuming the best, we think:

• My husband must hate my new haircut because he said nothing about it
• My friend just wants to make me mad by bringing up that topic
• The world is against me because I had a flat tire this afternoon

But if we really don’t know, why not create a good story instead of a bad one?

Can’t we assume a positive what-if scenario instead of a negative one?

2. Use the Golden Rule

Would we want others assuming the worst motives about us when we do something they don’t understand? No.

We think they should know us better than that.

We can treat others’ motives the same way we want ours to be treated.

3. Let Go of Self-Protection

Often our cynicism arises because we don’t want to be hurt. We want to protect ourselves by staying on the defensive, not risking pain through naiveté or being caught off guard.

But is being skeptical the best way to live?

No. We will sometimes get hurt by giving others the benefit of the doubt, but more often we’ll create a brighter world, bringing light into darkness instead of spreading even more darkness.

Safety is an illusion. Take chances with love.

4. Forget Revenge

When we sense we’ve been treated unfairly, we can grow stingy with doling out understanding.

But who among us hasn’t received far more compassion at times than we’ve deserved?

By tuning into the kindnesses that we have been given, we can be more compassionate to others too, all things considered.

In everyday situations, when possible, err on the side of grace instead of judgment. It makes for healthier relationships. And happier ones, too.

5. Do It for You

Lastly, we often show the least compassion to ourselves.

Even when we assume the best in others, we may place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. If our bodies get tired or our tongue gets edgy or a relationship turns sour, we may shame ourselves with labels like Lazy or Selfish or Stupid.

Granted, we do need to take responsibility for our actions.

But we also need to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt as well, knowing we tried, that we wanted the best for everyone. Even when you fail, don’t abandon yourself yourself just because you made a mistake

Choose Your Response

Back at the library, instead of causing a ruckus about the barking woman, I choose to let it go. The woman looked homeless and had more important issues to deal with than receiving a lecture from me on keeping reverent silence in the library.

I laugh off the incident alongside the other people who heard the barking, hoping they will let go of their fears that she’ll be waiting outside to harass them.

The woman seemed completely harmless, just coping with life as best she can.

While some people in the world may be out to get us—and yes, let’s be cautious with those!—most of the people in our circles are decent human beings.

Like us, they too are doing the best they can with what they have.

Fill in the gaps with compassion.

And the library barker?

I’m agreeing to assume the best, not the worst, about her, too.

I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.

* * *

Are you more naturally trusting or skeptical? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

See all 4 agreements (click on individual infographics)

1-Give the benefit of the doubt | 2-Let go of being right | 3-Don’t take it personally | 4-Just show up

revised from the archives

When Life Stops

Bang!

I didn’t hear the gun go off that Saturday morning.

But I heard about it from others.

It happened 20 minutes before I arrived to prepare for Outdoor Church. It came from the bridge, a few hundred yards away, they said.

My friend Brenda had to cross the bridge on her way to church. As we sat in the folding chairs underneath the tent together, she told me the body was still there. It was covered with a sheet. She couldn’t see if it was a man or a woman.

Just someone who had run out of hope.

Then Brenda caught me up on her own struggles. She has been knocked down many times in her life. Even now, life events are threatening to bury her.

She said five times in her life she wanted to be like the person on the bridge. She had wanted to give up, too. Yet God hadn’t let her die.

She sounded close to giving up again.

But not yet.

A Plot Change

Our stories don’t go like we expect them to. We envision the plot leading in one direction (usually to a healthy, happy, prosperous place), but life places us in different scenes. Sometimes good ones. Sometimes not so good.

Like the person on the bridge, sometimes stories seem to end too soon. We weren’t finished reading them. The ending is confusing.

Even when we’re not the main character of the story, someone else’s ending can still devastate us. It can make us anxious. It can cause us to be jumpy, wondering what’s next around the corner for us, too.

How do we adjust when a book we’re reading suddenly slams shut?

What to Do with a Short Story

How do we deal with a story when a character suddenly disappears?

1. Put down the pen.

For starters, we can learn to release our expectations. Stop predicting a sure ending. Live more flexibly. Bend without breaking. When we hold our scripts loosely, we’re less likely to be caught off guard when edits are written in.

2. Embrace the mystery.

Then we can keep reading to see what’s on the next page. We learn to be inquisitive about the unknown, instead of hiding from it. Some surprises are bad, for sure, but other surprises bring hidden gifts with them. Stay curious.

3. Trust other authors.

When we let go of plotting every detail of our story, we’re more receptive to help from outside sources. Welcome Love when it arrives from other people. Allow it to impress its beautiful fingerprints on every page.

4. Flip the book over.

For the unknown person on the bridge, the story still isn’t over. They still live on. We just can’t see yet the new pages being written on the other side.

The Page You’re On

Making peace with the unknown is a lifelong journey. It’s not easy to trust in the hard parts of our stories. We need to be aware and feel the sadness when it comes.

But when we learn to live freely, instead of manipulating the words into what we think they should say, we can fully live the page we’re on. We can stay in the story of the present, not jump ahead.

I still haven’t heard who the mystery person was who died on the bridge that Saturday. I probably won’t. Not every life makes the news. Or has a funeral. Or gets an obituary.

But every life is a story that matters. To somebody here. To somebody already gone. And to God who writes each life into being.

At the end of Outdoor Church, I asked Brenda if she wanted to pray. She said she’d rather pray for the person who died than for herself.

So we thanked God for grace as this person was welcomed fresh into eternal love an hour earlier. We were glad this person now knew deep love. That they could finally enjoy the peace of complete healing.

Brenda prayed thanks that she had survived five times when she had wanted to die. And I prayed thanks that Brenda is still here.

We are each filling in the blank pages now of our 2023 chapters. Our previous chapters are already written, but they are not complete. The stories continue on. The ones we read. And the ones we no longer see.

Our stories never end. Not even death can stop them.

Don’t be afraid to turn the page. Keep reading. This story isn’t over.

* * *

Have you lost anyone unexpectedly lately? What helps you deal with your loss? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives

More Stories:

• Just Say You’re Sorry
  The story of Anna and Julie
• Do You Assume the Best or the Worst? And a Barking Lady
  The story of the barking lady in the library
• Encounter Another Human Being
  Joe takes care of neighbors
• This Is Not Fair
  The homeless boys watch the weather

It could have been a birthday celebration. Happy Birthday to our middle daughter.

Instead, we went to the cemetery.

A Thousand Little Deaths

If Kali had lived her first day, and the day after, and the day after, I would have been more eager to live those days, too.

But instead, when she died on Day 1, November 13, born premature and with severe problems, part of me wanted to die, too.

Don’t we all die a thousand little deaths throughout our lives? Don’t we all collect bruises on our souls?

The author of Psalm 118 certainly had his own little deaths. He knew about prisons and enemies and destruction. He (and the Hebrew people collectively) had been pushed hard.

But at this point he had not been handed all the way over to death (Psalm 118:18).

Others had died. Why not him? Why not me? Why not you? Why not yet?

Resurrect One Slow Breath at a Time

It took me awhile to understand why I was still living without my baby to care for.

Resurrection is sometimes instantaneous. But sometimes resurrection only comes one slow Spirit-breath at a time.

For me, resurrection was one small thing at a time—a friend bringing dinner after my C-section, a sympathy card in the mailbox, a flower left on Kali’s grave.

And resurrection was one person at a time—a gentle hug, a conversation mentioning Kali by name, an empathetic ear.

Each small thing reminded me I had big reasons to still be here.

• I had my husband Jeff who loved me (and was grieving too),
• my 4-yr-old daughter Morgan who needed her mommy, and
• a God determined for me to know joy again.

(And unknown to me, another reason to still be here was on the horizon: a third daughter, Jenna, later to be conceived, born, loved.)

It is for the living we stay. For the loving. For the Lord.

You Still Have Purpose

If you are here reading this—as I am still here writing it—the Lord still has purpose here for you, too.

Even if you’ve come to the very rim of death, or are in crisis of a little death even today, know that God kept you from falling over the edge for now, for a reason.

You still have . . .

• living to do
• love to give
• praise to proclaim

God can empower a thousand little resurrections over your thousand little deaths.

So even though I am sad today that Kali has not been here in the flesh for 26 years, I can proclaim with confidence along with the psalmist in Psalm 118: “The Lord is powerful!” (Psalm 118:15 CEV)

Even when I don’t understand death, I can trust resurrection.

I have lived to tell what the Lord has done.

* * *

Do you know why you are still here? You are here to love somebody this week. Someone is here to love you. Please share in the comments.

• More on infant loss and my journey with Kali

Updated from the archives

On “Ordinary” Days

It seemed like an ordinary Saturday at Outdoor Church. It was 2012. Jeff and I showed up.

And in an ordinary way, we met a man named Walt.

I knew something was special about him, this homeless man who sang “Amazing Grace” like he fully understood it.

2012, Walter and me after Outdoor Church

But I didn’t know how much his specialness was going to stick with me.

Walt and I continued doing church together once a month at Outdoor Church when we each could make it. Occasionally we’d see each other during the week at Manna House if he needed food. Or at the annual King’s Banquet held at The Rock Family Worship Center where we serve our homeless guests as royalty.

2014, Walter and me at King’s Banquet

~ * ~

2015, Walter and me at Manna House

~ * ~

2016, Another King’s Banquet with Walt and me

~ * ~

Then one day I heard good news. Walt got housing. His homeless days were over.

We Make “Ordinary” Introductions

A few years later, another ordinary Saturday, I showed up at our Huntsville Dream Center for Servolution, an outreach into our community to show the love of God.

A four-year-old girl named Aleesa and her mom volunteered for the same assignment that morning.

I didn’t yet know Aleesa or her mom. Neither did Walt.

But all that was about to change. In big ways.

Aleesa, her mom, and I were put on the same team. We were to deliver goodie bags to a public housing unit – the one where Walt lived.

Door to door we knocked together. Eventually we knocked on Walt’s door. That was when Aleesa and Walt first met. She and her mom connected with Walt immediately.

And they stayed connected. They became friends.

I’d even say they became family.

A New Story Begins

Anybody can hear the beginning of their story. Because Aleesa wrote it down. With the help of her mom, she published their story in a book, The Day I Met Walt.

On yet another Saturday, last October 2016, Aleesa and Walt held a book launch.

Walt couldn’t have been more proud. He was dressed in his best and wore his biggest smile. Many of us lined up at the Huntsville Dream Center to get our copies autographed by Aleesa and Walt.

~ * ~

~ * ~

~ * ~

~ * ~

I treasure my copy.

Five months later, Walt died.

But the Story Continues

I no longer get to hear Walt sing at Outdoor Church. Or sing in the elevator for us at his apartment complex. I no longer get to hear him tell what God has done for him lately, how good God is.

I miss Walt.

But thanks to Aleesa and her book, his story lives on.

Aleesa now reads her book at schools and churches across our area, sharing her love for Walt and God’s love for us.

A few weeks ago, she read her book to the students where my daughter teaches. Jenna’s 1^st graders sat mesmerized as Aleesa read her book, with her mom by her side. Here was a fellow 1^st grader, just like them, who had written a real book. We gave them each a copy of their own to take home.

As Aleesa tells it, she may be little, but she serves a big God. I can hear Walt in my head, sharing that same sentiment.

Who Is in Your Story?

I know Aleesa will continue to do amazing things in service to her big God. She has a godly family leading the way. I’m grateful for the day I first met them and for the encounters we’ve had since.

We never know what will happen next when we meet a person. Aleesa and Walt couldn’t have known how their paths would merge on the day they first met. But I’m sure glad they did.

The day Aleesa met Walt not only changed their lives, but it continues to change other lives as well.

Stay alert to who you meet this week. It might seem like an ordinary day, but it could be the start of an extraordinary story.

* * *

When have you had an “ordinary” encounter that turned out to be extraordinary? Please share in the comments.

You can purchase Aleesa’s book, The Day I Met Walt, at Amazon or at Aleesa’s homepage. A portion of the proceeds are donated to the Huntsville Dream Center.

I wrote more about Walt here:

• Not Just Another Day in Church
• Are You Quiet Enough to Listen?
• A Chance Encounter?
• Who Are You Avoiding?

~ * ~

Watch Aleesa tell about her story here.

]]> https://lisanotes.com/ordinary-day-extraordinary-story/feed/ 58 https://lisanotes.com/do-you-know-me/ https://lisanotes.com/do-you-know-me/#comments Mon, 16 Oct 2017 10:00:42 +0000 https://www.lisanotes.com/?p=13563 I’d never seen them before. So why did they look so familiar? Do you ever do that? Meet someone new, but feel like you already know them? Jamie or Fran?… ]]>

I’d never seen them before.

So why did they look so familiar?

Do you ever do that? Meet someone new, but feel like you already know them?

Jamie or Fran?

Two weeks ago in Wauchula, Florida, after Hurricane Irma came through, we met Jamie. She’s young, but she’s fierce. She’s taking care of Hardee County, FL. She’s tending to broken houses and hurting families and hungry bodies. She runs Send Me Missions. She lives out Jesus locally and internationally.

When Jamie took our PAR (Prepare and Respond) group to the Hardee Help Center, another organization she heads up, I knew how I knew her. She’s the Fran of Hardee County. Fran, who I’ve known for years, takes care of Madison County, AL, where I live. She runs Manna House and so much more, showing people the love of Christ. Just like Jamie is doing where she lives.

Hank and Jamie

Stranger or Mama?

Another stranger I met in Florida was an older lady, whose name I’ve already forgotten. Our guys were putting a tarp on her trailer that had significant flood damage after the hurricane. She and her husband are snowbirds from South Carolina. They had come down to assess the damage. It was immense.

After talking with her a few minutes, I saw my mama again. When I asked this lady what town she was from, she couldn’t remember. She’d go ask her husband. When I asked her when she was going back to South Carolina, she couldn’t remember that either.

But she was so sweet. So in love with her family. So dependent upon her husband. Just like my mom had been, too, before she died with Alzheimer’s.

Hank or Jeff?

A third stranger, now also a friend, is Hank. A local, he took off work from his own job to help us out-of-towners respond to hurricane damage in his town. I loved watching him interact with people. He listened with his eyes and with all of his heart. He answered questions with truth but with compassion.

When I asked him what his wife was like, he said she was a piece of heaven. Not that I am that myself, but that is the kind of answer my sweet husband Jeff might also give. Hank reminded me of Jeff, full of energy, a love for people, and a passion to help.

Making Hank an honorary PAR member

All in the Family

Why did these three people seem so familiar?

You might say because they reminded me of people in my own life.

But the larger reason? Because they each remind me of God. They all bear his image. They are my brothers and sisters.

When you sense a spark of recognition in someone new you meet this week, see if it is God you’re meeting anew.

He plants himself in each of us, in unique ways, in delightful surprises.

We are all family here.

* * *

Have you met someone new, but felt you already knew them? Please share in the comments.

Related:

• Hurricanes R Us – Adventures in Florida
  They were waiting for Irma, an expected but unwanted visitor. Two weeks later, more strangers show up.
• When We Are Different
  Reacting in fear of our differences widens the divisions. Responding in love narrows them.
• 5 Ways to Assume the Best in a Person
  We rarely know the whole story. How can we learn to give others the benefit of the doubt?

You need to know about Julie. I just met her Saturday. But I already want to be like her.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

First Meet Anna

I’ve never met Julie. I am outside meeting a different lady (I’ll call her Anna here). Anna is one of our guests at Outdoor Church. She looks disturbed.

I ask Anna if she’d gotten her meal. A free lunch is always served to our homeless friends when Outdoor Church finishes each first Saturday of the month at Manna House.

This month’s service and meal are being hosted by Julie’s church. They are grilling barbecue chicken to bless all who show up.

Anna tells me they were rude to her on the meal line. That they said she was a rule-breaker. And that she knows she is not a rule-breaker.

I believe Anna believes that.

But I believe differently.

I have seen how loving the people from Julie’s church have been. How gentle. How generous.

I tell Anna everything will be fine. We can go back in line. She is welcome to get a meal.

She is finally convinced. But only if I will come with her.

Now Meet Julie

In line, Julie and her friends offer Anna a plate, as I knew they would.

But Anna begins pointing at Julie. “It’s her! She thinks I’m a rule-breaker.”

I see the shocked look on Julie’s face. She is clueless.

Julie has no idea what is going on. She does not know why this woman is pointing a finger at her.

I try to smooth things over with Anna, convince her that it’s all a misunderstanding, that Julie isn’t mad at her.

But Anna won’t have it. She keeps pointing at Julie.

I don’t know what to do. I often don’t in these situations. I need more skills.

But I’m getting nowhere with Anna. So I go behind the line to meet Julie.

She doesn’t know me; I don’t know her.

I tell Julie, “I know you did nothing wrong. But will you tell this lady you don’t think she’s a rule-breaker? She has mental problems.”

Julie probably thinks I am the one with mental problems (and I admit, I have my days).

But she listens to me. Then she turns to Anna.

The Best Part

And this is what Julie says. (This is the best part of the story.)

Julie tells Anna, “I am so sorry. I was wrong. I would love to give you some food.”

Anna leans in. She mumbles something again about not being a rule-breaker.

And Julie repeats, looking Anna in the eye with humility and sincerity, “I don’t think that about you. I am the one who is wrong. I’m sorry.”

And Anna melts to her kindness.

Her belligerence fades. Her resistance disappears. She says, “Ok.” She takes a plate and is on her way.

Now I am the one who can’t let it go.

I go back to give Julie a hug. To thank her for what she just did. For her gracious apology to a stranger who had falsely accused her.

She shrugs it off. She laughs. She says she’s used to saying she’s sorry.

I can laugh, too. The drama is over. I tell Julie I want to be more like her. I mean it.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Just Say This

Life would be sweeter if we would say “I’m sorry” more often.

Even if we are not in the wrong, we can still be sorry. We can still apologize. We can still be humble.

When Julie said, “I’m sorry” to Anna, I saw Jesus in her.

I want to see more of Jesus in me.

Maybe I need to say “I’m sorry” more often, too.

* * *

When’s the last time you said, “I’m sorry”? Is it hard or easy for you? When has someone else’s apology changed a situation for you? Please share in the comments.

[if you can’t see the Wauchula video, click here]

{Sunday morning, September 10}

People in Wauchula, Florida, are waiting. They haven’t met Irma, but they know she is on the way.

In the next 24 hours, Irma will storm in, announced but uninvited. She will blow limbs off trees, throw debris into roofs, and soak Florida with more water than it can hold.

She will try to extinguish all light.

And temporarily, she will succeed.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

{Sunday morning, September 24}

Two weeks later.

It’s 5:30 a.m. It’s pitch black in Huntsville, Alabama.

One set of headlights made it here before us. We wait together in darkness for the rest of our team to gather.

We are strangers this morning. We’ve seen names on emails. But no one knows everyone. We wonder who we all are.

Almost 700 miles away, another small group of people are also wondering who we are.

In Wauchula, they are waiting to see if we’ll really show up tonight in our church van and flood trailer as we promised.

The people in Florida are tired. For two weeks they have been locals helping locals. But the needs exceed the hours.

It can wear a body out. And a soul.

Others in Wauchula are also wondering, but not about us. They don’t know we’re coming. Instead, they are thinking . . .

• about the mold creeping up daily on their walls,
• if their ceilings will pour water when it rains again,
• where the money will come from to fix or replace what Irma took.

They don’t yet see the light. So they work and they wait in the dark.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

{Monday – Thursday, September 25-28}

We are in the heart of Wauchula.

Our PAR (Prepare and Respond) disaster relief team meets their Send Me Missions team.

Together we nail the classic blue tarps (or whatever is available) onto roofs. We listen to homeowners repeat their stories. We hand out Red Cross cleaning buckets and give out local help numbers and extend bottles of cold water from our coolers.

But we also want to hand out hope.

• Hope that help is always on the way.
• Hope that God never abandons anyone.
• Hope that it will get better.

We all need that hope.

Whatever our storms, whether a leaky faucet or hurricane winds, hope revives our spirits when they begin to sink low. Hope lights up dark places.

And hope often arrives in a human body.

Unlike the ultimate Hope that arrived in the flesh 2,000 years ago, our arrival hasn’t been prophesied for centuries or greeted with the brightest angels singing our praise.

But each of us can embody the hope that breathes life into the fainting by simply showing up.

Our work in Florida may not look like much to the human eye.

We pitch water-logged mattresses into a garbage pile; we document tarped roofs that still need fixing; we cut half-down trees off of driveways.

Much work still needs to be done.

We must keep showing up wherever we are. To do things we’re good at. And to occasionally do things (like, stand on a roof or meet new people) that make us uncomfortable.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

{Friday, September 29}

All 11 of us have loaded our suitcases and are on the road by 7:05 a.m. We leave behind our new friends Jamie and Hank and Bill and Amy Jo and Pastor Jeff.

We don’t know when we will show up again in person in Wauchula.

But we can show up in our own towns . . . for our next-door neighbor who needs a wrench or a Walmart clerk who needs her story heard or a sick aunt who needs a hot meal.

God wants us to show up with hope. Wherever we travel. To whomever we meet.

We will continue carrying hope with us for the people of Wauchula as we pray, as we remember, as we tell.

We saw Jesus there. He had been there the whole time. He has declared us family. And so we are. We are strangers no more.

The van pulls into the parking lot late Friday night. We throw away empty water bottles and Pringles cans and used napkins from under the seats.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

{Now}

But we keep our hearts full.

• Of new friends.
• Of inspiring stories.
• And of hope that can never be blown away.

Light always finds a crack to shine through.

It’s who God is.

And it’s what He wants us to do.

* * *

In 2011 we had our own natural disaster in a series of horrific tornadoes. Who showed up to help? Unbeknownst to us until last week, one of the groups were the good people of Wauchula, Florida. Isn’t that just like God?

More stories to come. My heart is still processing.

Who needs your hope this week? Where can you show up? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Related:

• Even when you feel inadequate
• You’re not ready? Show up anyway
• Does it matter to you? {Alabama tornadoes}
• Be ready for your second chance

Is This Fun?

We don’t always agree on what will be fun.

Jeff and I were planning out our week in Maine for our 25th wedding anniversary last week. We asked friends for suggestions. We googled Top Things to Do in Maine. We even looked at old library books.

We agreed on most things. And when we didn’t agree, we tried to feign excitement for the other’s sake anyway.

Honestly, I wasn’t too excited about the land bridge.

At low tide in Acadia National Park, a natural land bridge appears. A path reveals itself out of the water to let you walk across from Bar Harbor, Maine, to Bar Island, normally only accessible by boat.

from Maine Trail Finder

But you have to catch it at just the right time—no more than a maximum of 1.5 hours before and after low tide. Do it within that three-hour window, or don’t do it at all. If you don’t walk then, you’ll be swimming.

Jeff really wanted to. I made myself agree to.

When Opportunities Come

Opportunities come to us in many ways.

• Sometimes God whispers in our ear through someone else’s experience.
• Or he shows us a cool image and we’re curious to see more.
• Or he just surprises us out of nowhere with an open door.

Or he parts the waters with a land bridge.

Even when we aren’t particularly interested. Or perhaps a little tired. Or maybe even oddly worried.

I looked up the tide schedule for Bar Harbor. Our magic window would be between 2:45pm and 5:45pm.

We got there around 3:00pm. As we walked down to the water, we saw this sign.

And we walked forward.

The water that was between Bar Harbor and Bar Island was parting.

Like Moses, we were able to walk across on dry land.

And it was amazing.

Better than I expected. Cooler than I thought. We stayed for awhile on the little island, then walked back across, with plenty of time before the water closed over the land bridge again, as it does twice a day.

Just Go

God doesn’t always part the waters for us when we’d like. The opportunities we want aren’t always available or visible.

But when he does make a bridge, maybe he wants us to walk across it.

• To accept the help when it’s offered.
• To be the friend when we’re asked.
• To show up for the experience he arranged.

He won’t leave us stranded.

When he says it’s time, let’s go.

* * *

When have you been surprised by an experience? Do you tend to lean in to new things, or do you have to be coaxed like me? Please share in the comments.

“What is killing you right now?”

Barbara Brown Taylor says we can usually answer that question easily. We know what makes our life harder.

So instead she asks her friends a different, more thought-provoking question: “What is saving your life now?” 

This week, Linda at LindaStoll.net is also asking the latter question.

Three of her long-time blogging friends, including me, are synchroblogging with her about what saved our lives this summer. (See all the links below.)

Here is my answer. I’d love you to hear your answers in the comments.

What’s bringing me life right now?

My oldest daughter Morgan and Fuller had been talking about babies for awhile.

And now they’re expecting their first child early in 2018.

Which, as I mentioned here, means that Jeff and I are going to have our first grandchild (it’s a girl!).

Which also means this: My life is about to change. At least that’s what you other grandparents tell me.

In the Waiting . . . The Past

I’ve been thinking about it a lot this summer during this waiting time. And praying about it.

Jeff and I have been empty-nesters since 2012 (even Kandie our Golden Retriever left last winter to go live with Jenna and Trey).

We’ve stayed out late eating doughnuts. Or we’ve gone to bed at 8:30pm if we’ve wanted to. We’ve spent time on the road for work, for pleasure.

But now a baby?

We couldn’t be more excited. But I realize it’s a time of transition. From the past, with one type of pleasure, to a future with a different kind of joy. I’ve been looking forward to and waiting for this.

In the Waiting . . The Future

God gives us times of waiting to prepare us for what’s next.

And sometimes he gives us a deadline to push us into action.

The time has come to prepare for the future. Time to clean out Morgan’s old room, to empty her closets, to prepare a fresh space for when they come to visit, no longer just the two of them, but the three of them once the baby is here. I want to make room for our little granddaughter.

So we painted the walls. Rearranged the furniture. Cleaned out from under the bed.

But this space-making for a new person isn’t just physical. We want to make not just space in our house, but space in our schedules.

And most importantly, we want to make space in our hearts.

In the Waiting . . . The Present

Jeff and I will soon visit Maine for our anniversary, a new place we’ve never been. We’ll celebrate 25 years of marriage.

But while we’re there, we also want to honor this moment.

We want to mark the now—this transition point during the waiting. We’re leaving a season of “just us” and embarking on the next season with a 3^rd generation in our family.

You should see the spare bedroom now. It has less furniture, but more space. It has less grownup things, but more children’s books and stuffed animals.

You can’t see the spare places in our heart. But they’ve expanded, too. Loving the grandbaby is a now thing, not just a future thing. I’ve seen her twice on ultrasound and will see her again there soon.

Changing Seasons

Whatever season of life you are in now, know you won’t stay there forever. Your season will change, too.

And when it’s possible, God will give you a waiting period. A time to transition.

May we use our waiting periods wisely. In them we can prepare to carry out new responsibilities. And clean out space to receive new blessings.

So what’s been saving my life this summer?

Preparing for the joy of what’s next.

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What has saved your life this summer? Another answer for me: I’ve begun a practice saying out loud, “All done!” at the end of every afternoon so I’ll put down my project-of-the-day. I’d love to hear your answers in the comments.

Read the other three posts from sweet, sweet friends and grace-filled bloggers in Linda’s synchroblog, “What Saved My Life This Summer.”

1. Linda

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2. Beth

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3. June

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You may not want to hear this, but the “new” year is almost 2/3 over. Christmas will be here in 133 days. And before we blink, it’ll be 2018.

Are you where you thought you’d be?

I’m not.

The StoryCorp app sits lonely on my phone. Unused since March 26. The last interview I recorded with it was with the 4 Corners, my three besties, on a spring beach getaway.

But I haven’t touched it since.

Story is my One word 2017. But I’ve gotten off track.

Did you set goals for 2017? Whether a One Word or a resolution or a to-do list, as we leave summer and enter fall, now is a good time to look again at those intentions. And do something with them.

4 Tips to Refocus Your 2017 Goals

Here are 4 common roadblocks to reaching your goals and 4 ways to regain your focus.

1. Lost interest? Rethink it.

Sometimes we lose interest in what we thought we wanted to do. Our motivation is gone. The thing got boring.

And that might be good. There are certain resolutions we make that aren’t worth keeping.

But before you let it drift by the wayside, give your goal a few more minutes of the respect it deserves.

• What was my original motivation for setting this goal?
• Is my purpose still valid?
• Would my time be better spent on something different?
• Is there a different way to approach this goal?

If you decide no, then let it go in peace. Make a conscious choice to lay it down.

But if you decide this goal is still worth pursuing, adjust the spotlight back to center.

2. Overwhelmed? Set smaller goals.

Sometimes we drop out because things get too hard. We’re overwhelmed with the largeness of our goal. Or we hit a roadblock that seems insurmountable.

When that is the case, maybe we just need to break it down into smaller steps. Set in-between goals.

Instead of looking at the whole picture, tear off one piece and just do that this week. Then next week do another small piece. By the end of the year, you may be surprised at what you accomplished.

3. Lonely? Do it together.

Another deterrent to keeping our word is that we try too much on our own. We lose our way because we’re traveling solo.

See how you can involve others to accomplish your purpose. Maybe you can bring a friend with you to do your thing. Or at least ask someone to keep you accountable as you do it on your own.

Brainstorm how your individual goal can help the larger community, or how the community can help you.

4. Failing? Give yourself grace.

We’re going to mess up. That’s a given. We say the wrong things. We miss a deadline. We flub up.

But that’s okay. There’s grace for that. Do you expect others to be perfect? Then don’t expect it of yourself either.

What speech would you give a friend who just messed up? Then give that same speech to yourself. Ask yourself (and possibly write down) the encouraging words that Jesus might say to you personally in this situation.

Revised and Stronger

When we thoughtfully revise our 2017 goals, we make them stronger. Our recommitment is then not only more realistic, but also more effective.

How we spend our days matter because how we spend each day determines our week, which decides our month. And next thing we know, another year has gone by.

This is our life.

I’ll be rethinking my One Word Story goal this week, tweaking it to make it more doable and setting more tangible steps to finish the year strong.

And yes, hopefully pulling up the StoryCorp app again and putting it to good use.

I want to be prepared and awake for the surprises God has in store for the remainder of this year.

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Did you choose One Word for the year? What are you learning from it? Please share in the comments.