“I can trust that if I just keep working at it, and keep coming back to it, time will help me see things that I couldn’t see before.”
—Laura Vanderkam

A few years ago, I started keeping a time log for one week out of the year.

I expected the results to confirm what I already believed: that my days were too packed and there wasn’t enough time for all the things I wanted to do.

Instead, I discovered something different.

Yes, it did show that I crammed a variety of things into a week. But I was surprised at how much time I also categorized as play and rest, which was good. (I was also surprised at how much time I spend eating in any given week!).

What I learned was my assumptions about my schedule didn’t match reality.

That’s one reason I enjoy Laura Vanderkam’s books so much, including her newest, Big Time: A Simple Path to Time Abundance.

Her message is simple and reassuring: you have more time than you think. She wants us to stop seeing time as scarce and to “fall in love with how we’re spending our days.”

As I read, I took notes on how to practice this book. What shifts could I make in my own relationship with time?

Here are 10 ideas from Big Time that I want to experiment with.

1. Realign My Reading Expectations

Instead of overestimating how many books I can read this summer, I looked at how many reading hours per week I’d previously logged, and then figured out how many books would fit in that time. Starting with more realistic expectations will help me prioritize my summer TBR stack and enjoy each book without rushing to the next one.

2. Stop Saying “I Don’t Have Time”

Vanderkam encourages replacing a scarcity time mindset (I too often say “I don’t have enough time!”) with one of abundance. I don’t know if I’ll be able to authentically say “I have lots of time!” but I’ll try. I want to remember that time isn’t the problem nearly as often as my choices and expectations are.

3. Track Time More Often

I usually track my time one week in the winter, but I’d like to track it in the summer too and see if it’s different. If nothing else, it holds me accountable during that week to use my time a little more wisely because I don’t want to write down that I was mindlessly watching Instagram reels for an hour.

“Time tracking provides accountability. Most people don’t want to document a three-hour YouTube binge on their time logs, so they choose to do more fulfilling things. Then they feel better about the day.”

4. Experiment with “21 Pods”

One idea in the book is dividing the week into twenty-one four-hour blocks (8am-noon; noon-4pm; 4pm-8pm). I’m curious whether thinking in larger chunks of time would help me organize my days differently.

5. Treat Weekends Like Vacations

Vanderkam suggests that people enjoy weekends more when they approach them like mini-vacations. I already do this somewhat, but I’d like to be even more intentional about noticing and savoring those hours. (Granted, this assumes you can do this. Not everyone has that option.)

“When people were instructed to treat their upcoming weekends like vacations, they wound up happier, less stressed, and more satisfied. They spent less time working and on housework. They did a few more fun things than they might have, but most important, they paid more attention to the happy things they did—perhaps feeling more like this time was special.”

6. Dream Big and Plan Small

I love Vanderkam’s philosophy that small steps add up. Big projects feel managable when broken down into baby steps. That’s how I’ve been organizing my bloated folders of digital photos. Just 10 or 15 minutes a night really makes a difference over several months.

“People overestimate what they can do in the short run. They underestimate what they can do in the long run.”

7. Leave More Open Space

I tend to want to schedule everything. But not every hour needs a plan. I want to create more blank spots on my calendar to allow room for spontaneity and for “wasting” time.

8. Make Small Bets

I sometimes forget that not every commitment has to last forever. Vanderkam encourages experimenting with smaller doses. I don’t need to create rigid rules for myself when they’re not necessary (and usually no one is asking me to do that anyway!). So I want to give myself permission to adjust course as often as needed.

9. Think in Years, Not Days

One of my favorite ideas in the book is focusing on the 8,760 hours in a year instead of just the 24 hours we have today. A single day can fly by so fast, but a year offers more time for growth, change, and progress. (Especially when looking ahead. When I look backwards, a year flies by quickly too.)

10. Celebrate Patience Points

Vanderkam suggests celebrating ordinary milestones when you’ve completed a set number of things. I’d like to incorporate this with a writing project I’ve been working on this year. Pausing to celebrate and reward myself for showing up consistently is a good use of my time.

The Gift of Looking Again

After finishing Big Time, I found myself looking back again at my previous time logs. And remembering how surprised I am each time to see how my hours played out.

I have more agency than I realize over how I fill those hours.

The gift of this book isn’t creating more hours or time hacks. It’s about developing a healthier relationship with time itself. Instead of seeing time as something that’s slipping away, Vanderkam encourages us to see it as something working alongside us.

“When you believe in big time, then you can afford to be patient.”

I need that reminder. When I stop treating time as an enemy and start trusting it as an ally, I relax a little more, enjoy life a little more, and focus more clearly on what matters.

Maybe that’s the biggest lesson I took from Big Time: time is always big enough for the things that matter most.

What’s your relationship with time? Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of Big Time

Read more on time:

• 5 Nonfiction Books To Use Your Time Well
  Explore these inspiring nonfiction books on productivity and aging to help you use your time wisely, live intentionally, and read what matters most to you.
• Four Simple Tools I Use to Live with Time—Not Against It
  A reflective Share 4 Somethings post on four simple tools—calendars, AI, journaling, and reflection—that help me live with time, not against it.
• Experiment with a Shift in Pace
  Four somethings about slowing down, time tracking, friendship, and meaningful awareness.

The Elevator Test

When the elevator door on the right opens, we immediately smell something.

It stinks.

It’s Monday afternoon at the apartment complex where we deliver free meals. Our grocery cart is full of food containers, and we’re ready to start making our rounds.

A woman gets out of the elevator. She warns us, “Watch out for the puddle on the floor,” she says. “Someone peed there.”

Now I smell it even stronger.

We pause to debate what to do next.

Do we get on the elevator anyway? Do we wait for the second elevator on the left, hoping it comes quickly?

I believe this may be too much for me.

I start leaning toward a third option: maybe we should just call it quits, leave the food in the lobby, and go home.

It surprises me how strong my reaction is. I had wanted to be here. And yet just the idea that someone chose to relieve themselves in an elevator fills me with disgust.

A strong enough belief that I’m ready to walk away.

But as we stand there, I notice I’m reacting strongly to something I don’t actually know for sure.

• What if someone had been sick?
• What if it was from a small child?
• What if it was something else entirely?

Would a different answer make a difference in our decision?

While we linger in the discussion, the elevator door closes. Without us.

A Book for Questioning

Lately I’ve been reading—and experimenting with—a new book by Nir Eyal called Beyond Belief.

The premise is simple but powerful: many of the things that limit us may not be based on evidence, but on false beliefs we’ve unconsciously adopted.

These are the definitions that Eyal uses to explain the differences between these three things:

• Fact: An objective truth that can be verified with evidence
• Faith: A conviction without need for objective evidence
• Belief: A firmly held opinion, open to revision based on new evidence

The book is primarily about beliefs—our strongly held opinions. Eyal describes beliefs this way:

“Beliefs aren’t simply thoughts or feelings. They’re tools—working models we use to navigate reality when the truth isn’t fully knowable.”

The problem comes when we allow our opinions to limit our lives.

Examples of these kinds of beliefs include:

• Believing someone doesn’t like you if they had to cancel your lunch date, so you never reschedule
• Believing you’re not smart enough to graduate so you never enroll in college
• Believing you’re too old to learn a new skill so you let yourself fall behind

None of these are facts. These beliefs are simply interpretations.

According to Eyal, the way to challenge limiting beliefs isn’t through argument. It’s through finding evidence.

He suggests asking questions like:

• Does this belief hold up to real-world feedback?
• Am I ignoring evidence that contradicts it?
• Is this belief open to revision?

Beliefs matter because what we believe shapes what we see, and what we see shapes what we do.

The Quiet Power of Belief

Not every thought we have is true.

Some thoughts are.
Some thoughts aren’t.

The same goes for beliefs.

But the way to find out isn’t through overthinking—it’s often through trying something and seeing what happens.

Books like Beyond Belief encourage me to do just that. It lists three powers of belief:

• Attention: the power to see what you believe
• Anticipation: the power to feel what you believe
• Agency: the power to do what you believe

Experiment with beliefs by starting with evidence. Focus where it counts. Shape the stories you tell yourself.

Practicing Small Experiments

Since reading the book, I’ve been trying some of these experiments in my own life.

For example, when lying in bed I sometimes believe I’ll never fall asleep. Yet when I pause and look at the evidence, I know I always eventually fall asleep. Every night. Believing my body will suddenly forget how to sleep is a belief that doesn’t hold up.

Or when I believe my whole day will be ruined if I don’t finish my to-do list. I experiment by intentionally leaving a few things undone and see if I survive. Spoiler alert: I do.

And when I believe I can’t finish my rounds if someone urinated in the elevator, I can question that too. Is it possible I actually can endure a 10-second elevator ride while stepping around whatever is on the floor?

The Elevator, Revisited

The elevator door that opens next is the left one. Whew. We get in and go to the second floor. But after finishing the meal deliveries on the second floor, it’s time to return to the elevator to head up to the third floor.

Two doors. Two choices.

Which one will open first? It’s the one on the right. Ugh.

This time, though, something is different.

There’s no odor. No puddle. Just a leftover paper towel from a cleanup.

We step inside and laugh. Whatever had been there before—urine, spilled liquid, something else entirely—is gone.

And either way, we would have survived it.

I’m grateful I didn’t give in to my earlier belief that the situation was simply too horrible to endure. (Shout-out to my companions who helped me persevere.)

The moment feels small, but it sticks with me.

Sometimes testing an experiment isn’t necessarily to prove yourself right or wrong, but to see what is possible.

Maybe it can be as simple as stepping into an elevator that you were sure you couldn’t tolerate.

As Eyal writes:

“Extraordinary lives aren’t built on grand declarations. They’re built on small efforts—actions that create evidence, evidence that strengthens belief, and belief that fuels more action until possibility itself expands.”

And every life deserves to be extraordinary.

Question for you:

Have you ever believed you couldn’t do something, only to discover later that you were more capable than you thought?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

thanks to NetGalley for the review copy of this book

The first time I heard Kaitlin Curtice speak was at a conference I attended three years ago. From her talk that evening, I wrote down these notes (among others):

“Once you know, you can’t unknow.”

“We live in cycles not lines.”

“When oppression happens around us, even if not to us, it affects us.“

“Protest is grief in motion.”

Looking back, it’s easy to see she would later write a book about stories.

And that I would want to read it.

Stories as Living Things

In Everything Is a Story, Curtice invites us to look at the stories we tell, the stories we inherit, and the stories we repeat—and ask a question of them:

Are these stories healing us, or are they holding us hostage?

As a visual metaphor throughout the book, Curtice equates stories to oak trees. Thus, she describes stories as alive—planted in us, growing over time, shaping who we become.

“Throughout time, we are repackaging many of the same stories: redemption, spirituality, power, grief and pain, ecstasy, and, yes, the magic and the mundane of humanity.”

She explains that even when stories are ignored, they don’t necessarily fade. Sometimes they just deepen their roots.

So pay attention to your stories.

The Power to Harm or Heal

Rather than offering answers in her book, Curtice offers discernment.

“This book is a chance for us to examine how storytelling has been a revolutionary tool for love and a weapon used for power and submission throughout the centuries.”

She asks us to notice how stories function in our lives—especially ones we’ve never questioned.

Consider the framework she offers for sorting our stories:

• Liminal stories — complex, uncertain, full of questions
• Loving stories — rooted in belonging and tenderness
• Lethal stories — driven by fear, oppression, and control

Then also ask whether the story is cyclical or linear—does it trap us, or does it allow transformation?

Applying this framework to the narratives we often repeat to ourselves can bring clarification and insight.

Stories as Mirrors

“Our stories are mirrors . . . and when used the right way, these stories can lead us to tenderness and curiosity rather than judgment.”

This section of Curtice’s work feels particularly important to me—does labeling our stories distort their message and turn them into something they weren’t meant to be?

For example, she uses this example of the ways we talk about one another:

“Some kids are bad, while some kids are just having a bad day. Spot the difference?”

Also, stories can change over time. Our best hope is that they mature well, like an oak tree.

“Oak trees are often at least twenty to thirty years old before they bear any fruit. So, too, stories take time.”

Meanings shift. Layers are revealed. What feels fixed today may not be the story that lasts.

Why This Book Matters

Everything Is a Story doesn’t tell you which stories to remember and tell. Rather, it teaches you how to notice your stories.

And in doing so, it leaves you with this truth:

“We tell stories, we experience stories, but also, we are the stories, and the stories are us.”

A question for you:
Is there a story you tell yourself that needs to be reframed into a better story?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of this book

Change in climate isn’t just something happening “out there” in the planet. It’s something happening inside us, too.

The more facts I learn about current weather pattern shifts, the more I understand how devastating future impacts could be. I feel the inner turmoil myself—fear, helplessness, wondering about my grandchildren’s future.

If extreme weather events concern you too, here’s a book I just finished that can help you move through these feelings: Facing Climate Anxiety by Jon Gorman, PsyD.

It’s not designed to educate you about heat waves or changes in growing seasons. There are other books for that. But instead, this one gives you skills to navigate your internal changes as external changes occur around you.

What This Book Clarified for Me

Gorman begins by acknowledging something we know but don’t always want to admit:

Ignoring the trends won’t make them go away. It only keeps us in the dark.

Yet cognitive dissonance is real. When the world feels like it’s on fire but everyone around us is acting normal, it’s easy to tell ourselves: “Maybe it’s just me. Maybe things aren’t really that bad.”

But the book reminded me that our emotions are healthy signals, not overreactions. The anxiety, grief, and even anger we feel alert us that something precious is at stake. Our emotions are not the enemy.

Scientists have done, and are doing, their part. They’ve given us the data. What we need now is behavior change, emotional resilience, and community support.

What I Loved Most

This book does not tell us to get rid of our climate anxiety.
Instead, it teaches us how to stay present with it, learn from it, and let it guide us toward meaningful action.

Here are a few practical takeaways I want to practice more:

• Connect to nature regularly
  Even small, daily moments outside help build resilience.
• Talk about climate feelings
  Research shows most people are concerned—even if they aren’t saying it out loud.
• Choose direction over scale
  Moving in the right direction matters more than the quantity of actions you take.
• Practice community-level self-care
  Kindness, connection, and shared purpose are antidotes to despair.
• Reframe hope
  Wishful thinking isn’t helpful, but grounded, active hope rooted in values is.

Why I Recommend Others Read This Book, Too

If you’ve ever felt alone in your worry about the climate, paralyzed by the immensity of changes that need to be made, or even guilty for not doing more yourself, this book can help you feel less alone and more peaceful.

It reminds you to also seek out positive environmental news (we are making progress in some areas!), practice gratitude, make room for joy, and prioritize relationships.

Being kind not only toward people but also to our planet is a win-win for everybody.

As Gorman reminds us,

“The antidote to despair is not false hope.
It is connection, empathy, feeling understood, and knowing you are not alone.”

After all, for better or worse, we are in this together.

Do you have some climate anxiety, too? What helps you?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

More resources on the climate:

• Climate content for purpose, courage, and hope
  This is a wonderful collection of resources at Katharine Hayhoe’s substack. She includes suggestions for books, podcasts, and newsletters.
• Saving Us: A Climate Scientist’s Case for Hope and Healing in a Divided World
  This is Katharine Hayhoe’s book, which I heartily recommend. I learned so much in it about the harm we’ve been doing to our planet, but more importantly, what we can do about it.
• Life After Doom: A Journey of Hope Amid Climate Chaos
  Brian McLaren’s book was extremely helpful to me. It considers how to live with wisdom and resilience through all the possible outcomes, from everything is fine to total annihilation of the planet. I wrote more about it here.
• Not the End of the World: How We Can Be the First Generation to Build a Sustainable Planet
  This Hannah Ritchie book gets into more of the scientific data about our changing climate AND what we can do about it. It gave me hope—my review is here.

Thanks to NetGalley for the review
copy of Facing Climate Anxiety

Do you know Sister Jean?

I first discovered Sister Jean in 2018 as I was watching March Madness, the annual NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament.

At 98 years old, she was cheering on her favorite team, Loyola University Chicago, as they reached the semifinals as a Cinderella Final Four team (they later lost to Michigan). As the team chaplain, she knew the players by name, led them in pregame prayers, and knew the scoop on their opponents.

I watched for Sister Jean on TV every year after that.

But last week on October 9, 2025, Sister Jean died. She was 106 years old. What an amazing life she had lived.

Maybe you have someone in your family like Sister Jean.

Or maybe you also know someone who is older but instead of being the life of the party, they are the grouchy one.

This is my grandmother who lived another 10 years after this photo, dying at 97 years old. (She was never grumpy around me.)

As we age, none of us want to become the grumpy older person; we’d rather be a Sister Jean. But how do we become that way?

If the question intrigues you, you might enjoy Dr. Kerry Burnight’s new book Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half as much as I did.

Burnight, known as “America’s Gerontologist,” writes with warmth and humor. Her well-researched message is simple yet profound: we don’t want to just live long (lifespan) or even just remain healthy (healthspan); what we really want is to enjoy living however long we have (joyspan).

Challenging the Anti-Aging Industry

You already know that our culture is obsessed with youth. It’s hard to find a pleasant birthday card to give an older person that isn’t a lewd joke about being over the hill. In advertising, we’re surrounded by products that promise to reverse aging. They play into our fears of getting older.

And often it works.

To counter that, Burnight says:

“People spend their lives trying not to age, trying not to die. Why not try to live instead?”

In her view, joy comes not from erasing your wrinkles but from nurturing your “ageless qualities,” like kindness, curiosity, humor, and resilience.

Redefining Aging: From Fear to Fulfillment

Joyspan again and again reinforces the idea of living better, not just longer. Burnight says that joy in later life isn’t accidental—it’s an “inside job.”

She outlines four practical actions that people with long joyspans consistently take:

1. Grow
Growth might mean learning a new skill.

2. Connect
Connection could be as simple as making time for old friends—or finding new ones of different ages.

3. Adapt
Adaptation helps you meet life’s challenges with flexibility

4. Give
Giving feeds your sense of purpose.

The book is full of great suggestions under each category for practicing these skills.

The Gifts of Growing Older

Your body will decline as you age. There’s no denying that. But Joyspan points out other things that actually strengthen over time:

• emotional stability,
• spiritual depth,
• problem-solving wisdom,
• and the freedom of not caring as much what other people think about you.

Burnight says science backs this up—studies show older adults often experience greater well-being and emotional balance than younger adults.

This is my daughter, me, my mother, my grandfather, and my great-grandmother, who lived to be over 100. She was very pleasant, active, and a joy to be around until the end.

Love as the Final Word

But to me, the book’s most powerful truth might be this one: love endures. Even when your body and health fade, your capacity to love—to mentor, to comfort, to show up in whatever ways you can—lives on.

To grow that direction for later, though, start living that way now. Whatever your age, be intentional to live with joy, purpose, and connection, even alongside life’s sorrows that are also bound to come.

Most of us won’t be traveling to basketball games at 98 years old like Sister Jean did. And we probably won’t live to be 106.

But like Sister Jean, we can hopefully make our older years as meaningful and joyful as possible.

Perhaps our best days aren’t behind us. They may still be ahead.

Are you one and/or do you have joyful older people in your family?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the review copy of Joyspan

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Backpack She Couldn’t Afford

My friend and I had just been seated at a cozy Italian restaurant on a Thursday afternoon. Our waitress brought us our waters, and although she was warm and friendly, she seemed slightly distracted.

While we looked over our menus, she returned to her station, pulled out her phone, and began scrolling on it.

When she came back to take our order, she apologized for the delay—though we hadn’t noticed. She said she had been searching online for the cheapest place to buy a backpack for her daughter before school started back. The one her daughter wanted cost $80, and she was working extra shifts to pay for it.

The rest of our service remained excellent. When the waitress brought over the bill, I could see a glint shining in my friend’s eyes.

“Should I give her a $100 tip so she can buy that backpack?”

A Perspective Shift on Generosity Now

The thought reminded me of the book I just finished reading, The Happiness Experiment by Carl Barney. One premise of the book is: be generous now; don’t wait until later.

After a near-death experience on an airplane, Barney made a revolutionary decision: instead of waiting until he died to execute his will, he wanted to do it now, when it could most help those he loved. He then began giving away “pre-quests.”

One by one, he contacted the twenty people in his will. He told them that because they added such value to his life, he wanted to give them money now instead of waiting until his death (he said he plans to live to 120).

The monetary gifts were given with no strings attached, but they did come with support. Barney provided each recipient with a financial coach to help them use their new money in ways to increase their happiness, and had them each fill out a Happiness Planning Workbook.

“My mind flicked forward to another scene . . . pausing on the faces of the twenty special people named in my will. I had intended to recognize and express my gratitude to them after I was dead. There was no need to wait. I’m so pleased I didn’t.”

I found this idea intriguing enough to read all of Barney’s book. While I didn’t enjoy his writing style or even agree with some of his personal philosophies (I’ve since seen some negative press about him, too), I did appreciate his generous spirit.

And I want it to inspire me to give away more in the moment, too. Too often I overthink it and wait too long to decide, then the opportunity runs out. I miss it altogether.

Five Simple Ways to Give Today

However, in the real world most of us do not have big money to give away, like Barney does. But gifts come in a variety of shapes and sizes. And when given now instead of just promised for later, they can make a real difference.

How can we show generosity with things other than money? We can:

• Show up with our time and presence
• Offer a skill or resource
• Share a meal together
• Listen with undivided attention
• Write a heartfelt note

After our lunch was over at the restaurant, my friend paid the bill, then passed a $100 bill to our waitress, encouraging her to buy that backpack for her daughter now to get her school year started off well.

The waitress’s eyes welled up with tears. She asked if she could give us a hug. As we exited the restaurant, we saw her run over to her coworkers and excitedly tell them what had happened.

The spontaneous gift from my friend brought her joy.

And seeing kindness in action made me happy, too.

Because the best time to be generous is now.

Don’t wait to be generous. What’s one generous act—big or small—you could do today without waiting? When has someone given generously to you?

Tell your story in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the review
copy of The Happiness Experiment

From Nadsat to “Unalive”: The Slippery Nature of Speech

This month, I’m slowly making my way through A Clockwork Orange for an upcoming book club—and it’s not been easy. Originally published in 1962, the book’s teenage narrator uses a made-up slang language called Nadsat. For me, it turns every page into a decoding exercise because I don’t speak that language.

But it also reminds me of the real-life phenomenon almost every generation lives in when younger generations create new vocabularies and sometimes new grammar to set themselves apart.

The difference now is that it’s occurring at a quicker pace because it spreads online.

Reading the brand-new book Algospeak by Adam Aleksic at the same time as the older book A Clockwork Orange highlights to me that language has been used throughout time as a barrier—between youth and adults, insiders and outsiders, and now tech and tradition.

Aleksic’s book, subtitled How Social Media Is Transforming the Future of Language, is a lively, easy-to-read deep-dive into how algorithms are changing our language in the digital age. Aleksic is both a Harvard-trained linguist and a viral content creator known as @etymologynerd, so he is uniquely qualified to explain what’s happening—and why it matters.

What Is Algospeak?

“Algospeak” is the coded language people use online to avoid being flagged or censored by the algorithms. For example, creators use words like “unalive” instead of “dead,” or “SA” instead of “sexual assault,” to keep their work from being removed online.

But according to Aleksic, algorithms aren’t just changing language by creating these workarounds—it’s a more direct pipeline. Algorithms are shaping the very words we see and hear, and then share and speak.

The term “algospeak” was first popularized in a 2022 Washington Post article, but Aleksic uses it more broadly. He argues that algorithms don’t just police language—they influence which words go viral, which tones perform best, and how fast slang spreads across multiple platforms.

Algorithms, Identity, and Power

Aleksic’s deeper point is that algorithms are a new, invisible source of using language as power. When speech is under surveillance or suppression, people adjust how they say things. Especially among youth, these adjustments create new identities for those who learn to speak the same online slang, carving out a shared space where they feel they belong.

He also introduces readers to the euphemism treadmill. For example, he says,

“The words ‘idiot,’ ‘imbecile,’ and ‘moron’ all used to be serious words for classifying mental disability, but then they became negative, so we replaced them with the word ‘retarded,’ which also became negative, so we replaced that with ‘mentally disabled,’ which is also becoming negative.”

Nowadays, though, it’s not just society shaping the language, but platform policies and how the algorithm enforces them.

Rage-Bait, Rubbernecking, and Emotional Manipulation

A major theme of Algospeak is that the way algorithms change language is also how they manipulate emotion. Aleksic, himself an influencer, doesn’t deny the dark side of influencers using emotional hooks so they can stay visible longer in people’s feeds—what he calls “algorithmic pandering” and “rage-bait.”

As you already know if you have an Instagram or Facebook or any other social media account, the algorithm doesn’t give you what you consciously want to see—it shows you whatever it thinks will get the the biggest reaction from the most people.

Aleksic calls this “digital rubbernecking,” the online equivalent of when we slow down to look at a car crash on the side of the road.

The result? The algorithm is training us to overreact, to see ourselves as more polarized from other people than we really are. It creates a tendency in us to think that the extreme is normal, when it’s not.

The Resilience of Language—and of Us

Despite some of these depressing insights (alongside amusing insights, too), Algospeak ends with hope. Aleksic wants us to remember to use our humanness to create and connect when we’re online together. He writes,

“Language is, and will remain, one of the most important forms of power and belongingness.”

Even when our language is shaped by tech, we can still use it to express ourselves and connect with each other.

Aleksic closes his acknowledgements at the back of the book with this:

“Finally, to my readers. Keep being human and using language in new and exciting ways.”

And I believe we can keep using language in these ways—even in a world of algorithms and metadata.

Let’s keep finding fresh ways to say what we mean and mean what we say with creativity, beauty, and kindness.

If you like reading books about language, along with Aleksic, I also recommend these two books:

• Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language by Gretchen McCulloch
• Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language by Amanda Montell

Here’s an excellent NYTimes review of Algospeak here:

• “The Harvard-Educated Linguist Breaking Down ‘Skibidi’ and ‘Rizz’”

Have you seen online slang or coded language in a TikTok video or social media that has surprised or confused you? Share your thoughts here in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of Algospeak

In honor of the Dalai Lama’s 90th birthday on July 5, 2025, here’s a reflection on his timeless message of compassion, responsibility, and spiritual practice from Ethics for the New Millennium—including favorite quotes and lessons from seeing him in person in Birmingham, AL.

A Personal Connection with a Global Leader

On July 6, 2025, the Dalai Lama will celebrate his 90th birthday.

Eleven years ago in 2014, I had the unforgettable experience of seeing him in person in Birmingham, Alabama. He made such a lasting impression on me—not just as a spiritual leader, but as a profoundly humble human being. He was attentive, joyful, and quite playful.

[See “5 things I Learned from the Dalai Lama” here.]

Although he is a Buddhist and I am not, his teachings and example resonate deeply with me. He doesn’t try to convert us to Buddhism; he just wants us to live more kindly and responsibly among each other—universal values that are important to all human beings.

His Message: We Are All Responsible for Each Other

“So while as Dalai Lama I have a special responsibility to Tibetans, and as a monk I have a special responsibility toward further interreligious harmony, as a human being I have a much larger responsibility toward the whole human family—which indeed we all have.”

These words were published over 24 years ago in the Dalai Lama’s book, Ethics for the New Millennium. But the issues are as relevant as ever.

In this era when division seems to dominate, the Dalai Lama’s vision of shared humanity offers a path toward healing—through compassion, humility, and personal responsibility.

The Call: What Will I Do?

The Dalai Lama doesn’t preach perfection or supernatural wisdom. In fact, he speaks plainly about his limitations:

“But I am only an ordinary human being. The best I can do is try to help them by sharing in their suffering.”

That honesty clears the way for each of us to ask:

• How much responsibility am I willing to take for the suffering in the world?
• What kind of commitment am I ready to make to act with compassion?
• How far am I willing to be inconvenienced?

Even small steps matter. The Dalai Lama’s appeal is simple but profound:

“Do what you can, and do it with kindness.”

Practicing Kindness, One Step at a Time

Spiritual practice, according to the Dalai Lama, isn’t about ritual. It’s about how we live and how we treat each other:

“It consists in nothing more than acting out of concern for others.”

Here are some practical ways to live this out:

• Think less about your own worries and more about someone else’s well-being
• Be patient even when anxious
• Serve others with humility, regardless of your job or status
• Resist judging people by appearance or situation
• Practice daily kindness—sincerely and consistently

Easier said than done, I know. But even setting an intention to live more aligned with our values is a step in the right direction.

Quotes to Keep Close

Here are a few more quotes from Ethics for the New Millennium that I am returning to on the eve of the Dalai Lama’s birthday:

“Cowardice arises when we lose all confidence as a result of fear. Patient forbearance means that we remain firm even if we are afraid.”

“It is far more useful to be aware of a single shortcoming in ourselves than it is to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.”

“All human endeavor is potentially great and noble… so long as we carry out our work with good motivation.”

“Try not even to think of yourself as better than the humblest beggar. You will look the same in your grave.”

Final Thoughts

The Dalai Lama’s teachings aren’t just for monks or mystics. They’re for all of us who want to live meaningful lives in the midst of everyday messiness. His 90th birthday is a reminder that while he may be aging, his message of compassionate responsibility continues to be timeless.

“Treat everyone as if they were a close friend… I speak as a human being: one who, like yourself, wishes to be happy and not to suffer.”

So to the Dalai Lama I say, “Happy 90th Birthday, my friend! Thank you for your gifts of wisdom to the world.”

What do you know about the Dalai Lama? Share your thoughts in the comments.

“But the nun also told her that the dark night of the soul was the tomb for the old you, and it was the womb for the new you. That’s what made Mama happy.”

Why I Read a Sci-Fi Book (and Why You Might Too)

Let me just say: I don’t typically read science fiction novels. But when I saw Brian McLaren was writing this one, I caved. I’ve trusted his voice for years in the non-fiction genre as a spiritual leader and as a wise, decent human being. So I decided to get curious about this fiction series.

The Last Voyage (Book 1 in a planned trilogy) is a smart and emotional story about humanity’s final chance to get it right somewhere else, after messing up on Earth. It deals with questions like “How do we start over?” and “What kind of people do we need to be to make it work?”

What It’s About

It’s 2056. Earth is falling apart—ecologically, politically, spiritually. A set of billionaire philanthropists have built a spaceship and handpicked a diverse team of thinkers, scientists, and a spiritual guide to establish a long-term colony on Mars. Their mission: build something better, before it’s too late.

But this book isn’t about space wars or aliens. It’s about human nature, values, conflict, and hope. And it’s not just one character’s story—if you poke deep, you’ll see it’s a story about each of us, as a species, trying to improve.

Some of the characters you’ll meet:

• Colfax, the arrogant ecologist who struggles with alcohol and loneliness
• Thurman, the billionaire in charge of the Macopro project, and the great-grandson of 20th century civil rights leader Howard Thurman
• Eve, an American theologian-ethicist grappling with spiritual needs and the relationship with her father, Colfax
• Refa, a Palestinian poet-musician, the youngest space team member, who brings beauty and pain
• Gabriela, a Guatemalan geneticist with corny jokes and a desire to heal the planet

But in an interview about the book, McLaren says the real protagonist isn’t any particular character. Rather it’s a set of human traits—love, trust, wisdom, accountability—that bind these people together.

Why I Recommend It

1. It asks the big questions

The story is fiction, but the themes are very real:

• What do we take with us when we try to start over?
• How can we prevent systems from causing harm?
• Is there such a thing as moral purity?
• How can we prioritize human thriving instead of power and money?

2. It makes beautiful statements

Here are a few quotes by the characters that I highlighted:

• “It’s worth saving what we can, isn’t it, Colfax? What we love, we see value in, and what we value, we protect and save.”
• “So much of our brains evolved to keep us alert to danger. Danger is real, of course, but fear . . . fear easily becomes our greatest danger.”
• “None of us are as rational as we wish we were.”
• “Maybe faith and hope are overrated. Maybe what you need to do is fall back on love.”
• “It’s the logos of plants to grow toward the light. I trust, on the days when I can, that we’ll all, eventually, grow toward the light.”

3. It’s timely—and timeless

It deals with climate change, authoritarianism, white nationalism, political collapse—but also with grief, community, meaning, and inner transformation. It reminded me that the most important revolutions have to start inside and work their way outward.

4. It feels personal

Because I’ve read many of McLaren’s books through the years—and have heard him speak on numerous occasions the past three or four years—I smiled when I caught glimpses of McLaren’s personality in the text: his love of birds and nature and their demise due to climate change; his extensive knowledge of philosophy, politics, and religion; and even his named car in the book, the McLaren (which “makes Thurman’s Tesla look pedestrian”).

Final Thoughts

The only thing I didn’t like was that the book ends with a cliffhanger. Some people love an uncertain ending. I understand that with nonfiction. But I prefer my novels to give me closure. However, the open ending does make me look forward to Book Two.

With The Last Voyage, Brian McLaren didn’t just write a sci-fi novel. He wrote a moral invitation. If like me, you’re a bit overwhelmed by the current problems on Earth, this book won’t give you easy answers. But it does offer some excellent questions.

And it might just remind you that we are not as powerless as we might think. That we can grow toward the light. That love, even in the face of doom, is worth choosing. [See McLaren’s 2024 nonfiction book, Life After Doom: Wisdom and Courage for a World Falling Apart; I highly recommend it!]

I don’t think I’m a good candidate for Mars. I lack an adventurous spirit and my remaining years are too numbered. But I did enjoy thinking about it. Even if you’re not a sci-fi reader either, I recommend you give The Last Voyage a try. It’s thoughtful, emotional, and calls on the best parts of what makes us human.

The Last Voyage will be published July 29; you can pre-order it now. Read more in this short interview with Brian McLaren.

Would you be willing to start over on Mars? Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for the
review copy of The Last Voyage

“Let us never affirm that thought itself is dangerous.”
— Joran Slane Oppelt, Spiritual Edge

What Is Spiritual Edge?

Spiritual Edge: Exploring the Boundaries and Evolution of Religion is not your typical theology book. It is a collection of essays, prayers, lectures, and reflections by Joran Slane Oppelt, a longtime interfaith leader. Oppelt compiled his writings and speeches into this book as an invitation to a new (and older) generation to continue thinking about their spirituality instead of assuming it’s all been figured out already.

Some of the concepts in the book didn’t resonate with me. But others made me pause on the page, set the book down, and think about them a bit.

Whether you’re seeking new spiritual practices, reconsidering your faith, or simply wondering how to make sense of spirituality in your current place and time, this book meets you at the edge—where growth can flourish.

~ * ~

Key Themes That Stuck With Me

• Identity and Belonging

A “spiritual edge” may be thought of in more than one way. It’s where labels become too small and a deeper self begins to emerge.

“The first way we might think of Spiritual Edge might be the edges between those names that we have put on ourselves or have had put on us by others.

“The second way is by imagining ourselves standing on a precipice — our toes dangling over a cliff and not knowing what comes next.

“The third idea is that the word “edge,” in English, can sometimes mean advantage.”

• Tools Over Dogma

Oppelt argues for a wide approach to spiritual practice—one that uses the full toolbox, not just one inherited framework.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want just one tool. I don’t want just one solution. I want all of these solutions to be accessible and to apply them through spiritual practice.”

• Interspirituality and Innovation

Oppelt suggests in the book that spirituality must evolve alongside humanity. He challenges his readers/listeners to rethink worship, language, and community—making space for both reverence and reimagination.

“We need a new interspiritual order . . . that exists outside of the current (or failing) institutions and that encourages us to, in the words of philosopher Ken Wilber, ‘show up, wake up, and grow up.’ One that instructs us to lift one another as we climb.”

• Navigating Uncertainty

One of the book’s most comforting themes is its refusal to condemn doubt. Oppelt says that standing on an uncertain edge is part of the journey. Embrace it.

“When you are questioning your own abilities, your own edge, your own advantage, your own privilege, your ability to create more goodness, beauty, and truth in the world . . . I want you to remember two things: There is something more. And you are not alone.”

~ * ~

Why This Book Matters

I didn’t agree with every chapter—and I think Oppelt might be fine with that. This isn’t a blueprint; it’s a conversation starter. The questions it leaves you with are more powerful than the answers.

Oppelt’s writing is a mix of the poetic and the practical. I appreciate the openness to agree, disagree, or to simply not know yet. That’s the type of spiritual guidance that sounds most honest to me.

It’s okay to stand at the edge. You might just belong there.

~ * ~

Quotes That Stand Out to Me

“We must have compassion for both the elder and the naive young person whose heart and expression is still changing, still maturing. Indeed, we must be both of them.”

“There’s a difference between doing and showing up with presence and warmth. Yet, the path is deepened by practice. It is made richer by our showing up with repetition and commitment.”

“Knowing that the question is always part of the answer is wisdom.”

“Let us never affirm that thought itself is dangerous. We must exercise our intellect as part of our spiritual practice.”

Share your thoughts here.

My thanks to Speakeasy for the
review copy of Spiritual Edge