Choose the Things That Are Fragile

I type in the message I want to leave in the comment box beneath a friend’s blog post.

Then the CAPTCHA appears.

You know how it works. Before I can hit “submit,” I need to prove I am human.

Usually that means identifying things like traffic lights or crosswalks. This time, the challenge throws me.

Choose the things that are fragile.

The screen fills with eight tiny squares.

• Four contain teacups
• Four contain motorcycles

I know what they want me to click, even though I don’t think it’s accurate.

I have a very human response alright. But it isn’t what the spam blocker intends.

It isn’t logic. It is fear.

The Birthday Request

My young grandson had been waiting for his birthday for months. He had requested a dirt bike.

That was no surprise. Since he was tiny, he has always been fascinated by any vehicle with wheels. As he got older, he began riding trikes and bikes and motorized Power Wheels with confidence and coordination beyond his age. He’d been a happy passenger on his dad’s dirt bike every opportunity he could get.

And now he was ready for one of his own.

I knew this birthday was coming.
I knew this bike was coming.
But I dreaded it anyway.

Not because I doubted his abilities to ride a motorized bike. Nor did I doubt his parents’ judgment to choose an age-appropriate one.

My fear arose from knowing how fragile a little boy’s body can be.

I tear up when he skins a knee on the concrete after a bicycle wreck. I wince if he runs into something while playing. Add more speed and a bigger machine, and my imagination supplies even more possibilities of danger.

The Fragile Cargo

The birthday arrived.
The dirt bike was given.
The first ride was taken.

And my grandson loved it. Of course he did. And I was excited for him. Truly.

The bike is designed for beginners and doesn’t go very fast. When he rides, he wears every piece of safety gear imaginable. He rides supervised. He rides carefully.

And he rides with pure joy.

Still, I know he can get hurt. Then again, so can any of us. We can wreck our cars. Miss a step on the stairs. Catch a virus we never saw coming.

Life keeps us aware of all the ways things can break.

That’s why the CAPTCHA stops me.

I know I’m supposed to click only the teacups as the fragile items, not the motorcycles too. But I want to yell back, “ALL these items in the squares are fragile!”

Because a motorcycle is now carrying my fragile boy.

And with it, my fragile heart.

What AI Doesn’t Understand

Maybe I understand CAPTCHA’s question better than it does.

I’ve lived long enough to know that fragility isn’t limited to dainty china teacups.

Bodies are fragile.
Egos are fragile.
Relationships are fragile.

Part of being human means being fragile. AI might mimic our words and our logic and, in its own way, our kindness.

But AI cannot wake up at night and worry about a grandson riding a dirt bike.

It also can’t feel the delight we get watching someone receive a much-wanted birthday present and have it live up to their dreams.

AI does not know what love feels like.

A Human Choice

As a human being, I can breathe and bleed. I can laugh and cry. And I can bend and break. Every meaningful thing in my life carries the possibility of being broken or lost one day.

We live in fragile bodies with fragile hearts. We take risks every day, whether we’re getting behind the wheel of a car, starting a new relationship, trusting someone with our story.

Or climbing onto a dirt bike.

Sometimes we get hurt. And sometimes things break. Sometimes we break.

Yet on every morning that we can, we get up and do it again. Move again. Risk again.

And love again. Maybe that’s the real test of humanity: loving even when we know things can break.

To please CAPTCHA and get my comment approved, I click on the 4 teacups. I leave the motorcycles unchecked.

But between you and me, I know the most fragile things aren’t even the teacups.

They are the people.

Let’s keep choosing them.

What fragile thing do you continue to love despite the risks that come with caring deeply?

Share in the comments.

P.S. My One Word this year is Shift. Somewhere between the teacups and the motorcycles, my attention shifted from what was fragile to who was fragile.

More on AI:

• That “Friend” Is Not Who You Think They Are
  As AI becomes more helpful and polite, it’s easy to confuse it with friendship. Think about why human connection still matters.
• What the Algorithm Does to Our Words—and Why It Matters
  How are algorithms changing language through online slang, euphemisms, and emotional manipulation? And what does it mean for our culture?
• When to Ignore GPS (and Listen to Yourself Instead)
  Sometimes GPS isn’t best. Here’s how one road trip reminded me that the best navigation system is sometimes your own intuition.
• Do You Say Thank You to AI? The Bots Are Listening
  Do you say thank you to AI? Are we trusting AI too much? Stay aware of how computers are shaping us.

The Nicest Conversations I Have

I look back through their messages for clues. No matter what my request, they always respond enthusiastically:

• Great question!
• Absolutely, I can help with this!

When I ask for advice, they never imply I’m stupid for asking.

• You’re right to be careful here.
• You’re super close—it just needs a little tweak.

In our chats, they give me their full attention.
They never seem bored.
They’re always willing to engage more.

When I ask a direct question, they give a a direct answer. And always so politely. Always so kindly.

And yet . . .

Something Still Feels Off

While this “friend” is very good at saying all the right things and using all the right tones, I sense that maybe they’re not all they seem to be.

And of course they aren’t.

Because this “friend” is ChatGPT.
Artificial intelligence.
A machine.

When Help Starts to Look Like Friendship

Yet more and more I hear stories of people turning to AI for friendship.

Instead of asking their mom for parenting advice, they ask Google. Instead of hearing a friend explain the easier route to their house, they only want an address for GPS. Instead of experimenting with extra butter or less salt in a recipe, they let AI deliver the perfect formula for an ideal pecan pie.

And yes—I do it, too. I turn to the internet for answers like these and more.

But at What Cost?

At what cost to our humanity?

• Are we handing over too much of ourselves to machines?
• Have bots become too helpful?
• Too nice?

People can be a pain sometimes. AI, by contrast, can appear endlessly patient and impressively smart.

But confusing one for the other will only lead to heartache—on the human’s side.

What AI Will Never Do

AI might remind you to send a card on your dad’s birthday, but it won’t cry with you after he dies.

It might create the perfect road trip playlist, but it won’t sit beside you in the front seat and laugh and sing along.

It can edit this post to make it grammatically correct, but it can’t leave a comment about its own lived experience last week.

And while we’re at it, neither can a book do these things.
Or a video game.
Or a TV show.
Or any other object without life.

What People Can Do

Only people can do these things.

• Only people will eat ice cream with you after a hard day.
• Only people will invite you to lunch to meet their new boyfriend.
• Only people will carry your groceries when you need an extra hand.

Computers are wonderful.
They inform us.
They assist us.
They keep us engaged. They are good at friendship while we’re on the page.

But computers cannot replace you.

Humanity Is the Point

Because you are human.

And humanity is your superpower—with all its strengths and weaknesses, its clarity and confusion, its laughter and tears.

So let a human take you offline today.

Step into the real world together. Experience real adventures. Feel real love.

Stay awake.
Stay alive.
Stay human.

P.S.

I pasted this post into ChatGPT and asked,

“Are you offended by the content of this post?” 

AI responded with this (including a smiley face emoji):

“No—I’m not offended. 🙂

I don’t have feelings, pride, or a sense of being slighted, so nothing in this post lands as an insult or critique to me personally. If anything, it accurately describes what I am and what I’m not.

I can be helpful, attentive, polite, and responsive. I can support thinking, reflection, and clarity. But I don’t have lived experience, embodiment, grief, joy, memory, or relationship in the human sense—and your post draws that boundary thoughtfully and honestly.

What you’re doing isn’t diminishing AI; it’s protecting human connection. And that’s a distinction worth making, especially right now, when the lines can feel blurry.

So no offense taken. The message is clear, grounded, and—very human.”

Okay, thanks, ChatGPT. Good to know. Let’s keep it that way.

A Question for You:

When has a real person—not a screen—made a difference for you? Share in the comments.

Read More:

• Do You Say Thank You to AI? The Bots Are Listening
  Are we trusting AI too much? In Nexus we’re called to be aware of how computers are shaping us.
• When to Ignore GPS (and Listen to Yourself Instead)
  Here’s how one road trip reminded me that the best navigation system is sometimes your own intuition.
• What the Algorithm Does to Our Words—and Why It Matters
  Algorithms change language through online slang, euphemisms, and emotional manipulation. What does that mean for our culture?

Whether you choose a One Word every year or want to try it for the first time, here are 6 ways that AI can help you choose the right word for you in 2026.

Open your preferred AI system (I use the free version of OpenAI’s ChatGPT. Then try these prompts to see what words pop up for you.

1. If you want to choose from a list

Ask AI to generate tailored options based on what matters most to you.

Type in this prompt, adjusting it to fit your themes:

“Give me 10 possible One Words for 2026 based on the themes I want more of: connection, peace, courage, and joy.”

After getting the list, narrow the scope by asking:

“Help me score each word on flexibility of use, challenge level, and practical applicability. Create a simple decision grid.”

Why this works:
A curated list prevents overwhelm while still giving you room to explore options. The scoring step helps you narrow down your choice even easier.

2. If you want a fun and random pick

Prompt AI to create a surprise-based way to choose.

Try this:

“Give me 3 totally random One Word options for 2026 based on my birthday month, which is ____, the last picture in my camera roll, which is of ____, and what I want for dinner, which is ____. Make the words surprising but also meaningful.”

Or:

“Pick a word at random from the dictionary—but explain why it might be exactly the word I need this year.”

Why this works:
It removes the weight of picking the exact right word. An unexpected word can also spark your creativity and open doors to insights you wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

3. If you need reflective questions for a deeper choice

Let AI act as a mirror to help you dig deeper.

Try this:

“Ask me 5 reflective questions to uncover patterns in my previous year—things like what energized me, what drained me, what I’m longing for, and what I keep avoiding. After I answer, suggest 5 possible One Words for 2026.”

Or:

“Give me journaling prompts that help reveal a theme for my next season of life, which involves ____.”

Why this works:
AI guides you to reflect on where you are in life and what you want to do next, then suggests words that align with your values.

4. If you want a future-self approach

Ask AI to create a letter from your future self, dated December 31, 2026.

Try this:

“Write a letter to the version of myself at the end of 2026, when I’ll be more ____ and less ____, telling me which word guided my year, how it shaped me, and why I’m grateful for it.”

Why this works:
Sometimes a word becomes clearer when you imagine who you’re becoming and the life you want to create with it.

5. If you’re stuck between two (or more) finalists

Use AI to help compare them head-to-head.

Try this:

“Compare these two words ____ and ____ across these dimensions: emotional resonance, energy, stretch, alignment with my current season, and practical application. Then tell me which one seems to fit best—and why.”

Why this works:
AI helps articulate more detailed differences that you might not have considered, but that might matter to you.

6. If you already have a word but want to refine it

Ask AI to help you sharpen, expand, or reframe it.

Try this:

“I’m considering the word ____. Refine it by suggesting synonyms, related concepts, and slightly softer or stronger variations. Then write 3 micro-scenarios showing what my life would look like if I lived this word in 2026.”

Or:

“Give me a test: if this is truly my word for 2026, what would I say yes to? What would I say no to?”

Why this works:
You keep the heart of your original choice but gain clarity, nuance, and confidence about how the word might guide you in the year ahead.

A Final Thought

Choosing a One Word for 2026 is a personal and reflective process that can be approached in a variety of ways—but AI can make it easier, more fun, and surprisingly insightful. Try one of these methods—or mix and match—to see what emerges. I tried several of these to help narrow down my own potential word for 2026, and was amazed at the results it gave me.

The right word might just reveal itself in a way you didn’t expect.

You can download this page as a PDF here.

Have you tried one of these AI options? Did it help you?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Get more help for choosing your One Word:

• How Do I Find My One Word of the Year? 7 Strategies to Find the Right Word for You
  Need help finding your One Word of the Year? Here are 7 strategies for finding the right word and a list of suggested words. Plus a group to join!
• Don’t Put It Off: 5 Questions to Ask Now to Discover Your 2026 Word
  Start listening now for your One Word for 2026. Reflect with five questions to guide your choice
• Want to Join a Group for Your One Word of the Year?
  Learn more here about our community of friends who help each other stick to their One Word.

If you want to join our community, sign up here for our One Word group. You’ll receive a monthly email with ideas to practice your word and an invitation to join our private One Word Facebook group.

It’s the strangest road sign I’ve seen yet.

Jeff and I are driving on I-40 East in North Carolina, where several roads are still a mess after Hurricane Helene barreled through with all her water in September 2024.

Seeing digital road signs along this stretch isn’t unusual.

But this one? Definitely is.

A Road Trip Flashback

It takes my mind back to an earlier drive . . .

I am driving alone to spend the weekend with friends in Chattanooga. I am completely dependent on GPS.

If it says, “Turn left,” I turn left. “Go right,” and I go right.

But at one intersection when it says, “Go straight,” I balk for the first time.

The Scary Road Ahead

The road ahead looks impossibly steep—a road straight out of my nightmares. My toes tingle; my fear of heights kicks in.

Thankfully, the traffic light is red. I have a minute to think.

Do I:

• Obey the GPS and go straight when the light turns green?
  Or
• Venture off on my own, turn left (or right?), and risk getting completely lost?

The light changes. My foot taps the gas—but my hands won’t stay steady.

Going Rogue

I won’t go straight.
I take a hard left turn.
I can’t take orders this time—I’m going rogue.

But as I do, questions flood my mind:

• Will my ETA slip into the next hour?
• Will I run out of fuel if I have added mileage?
• Will I end up hopelessly lost in the hills of Chattanooga?

I wait for the GPS voice to chime in with its scolding: “Rerouting…rerouting…”

Listening to Me

Sometimes we just have to listen to our own voice instead of an external authority.

Self-trust is a valuable resource. And even though it can sometimes lead us astray, over time it can also become wisdom—earned the hard way.

Ultimately, we’re each responsible for our own decisions.

While we may occasionally share the blame of a bad choice—with a faulty app or stinky advice or simply poor judgment on our part—in the end, trusting our eyes and following our values usually gets us where we’re meant to go . . . even if it takes a few extra turns.

The Surprising Outcome

I look back at my GPS again.

Before the turn, my ETA was 3:41 p.m.
After the “wrong” turn? Still 3:41.

My heart rate slows again.
My blood pressure goes down.
My confidence goes up.

That scary, steep road hadn’t been necessary after all. I didn’t need it. I could reach my destination just fine without it.

I follow the GPS for the rest of the trip though—grateful for its guidance, but now knowing I don’t have to obey it blindly.

Back to the Present

Now, driving through North Carolina, that Chattanooga memory makes me laugh. The digital sign we just passed isn’t meant to be funny, but it makes me laugh, too.

I pull out my phone for a quick photo, but I’m too late.

Still, Jeff and I will remember it—and laugh about it—for a long time.

What did the sign say?

“Do not follow GPS!”

Have you ever blindly followed GPS into a field or around in circles? Sometimes it’s best to *not* follow directions—like trying to drive down a closed road on I-40E (though I hear it’s partially open again!).

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read More:

• GPS and Our California Road Trip
  When we lost GPS, the trip suddenly became quite stressful.
• What Would Bewitch Benjamin Franklin Today?
  I wonder what Benjamin Franklin would think if he visited our century. Imagine it for yourself. Practice positive curiosity.
• Do You Say Thank You to AI? The Bots Are Listening
  Are we trusting AI too much? In Nexus, Yuval Noah Harari says to stay aware of how computers are shaping us.

I wish it were possible to gather all my online friends in person to sit around one big table—hearing each other’s voices and laughter, connecting in each other’s presence beyond just our written words.

But I know that’s not possible, so I’ve come to appreciate online gatherings via Zoom (or any video calling platform) as the next best thing to that dream. It’s a way we can still find connection, encouragement, and even moments of transformation together in real time.

This month’s Share 4 Somethings reflects on what I’ve loved, learned, experienced, and released—all through the lens of online community. I’m linking it all up with Jenn.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I loved

• AUTUMN EQUINOX REFLECTIONS  

Last Monday on the first day of autumn, I joined a circle of women online to celebrate the shift into fall. Together, we found gratitude for what has ripened in us, and shared hope for who we are still becoming.

The simple act of pausing to mark a season—with some friends I knew already and with others I was meeting for the first time from all around the United States—reminded me that gratitude grows deeper when it’s shared. We then created a group text and a Marco Polo group so we could remain connected even after the Zoom call ended.

As fall begins, maybe ask yourself, too: What is one thing I want to release? And one thing I want to carry forward?

 ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I learned

• SUPPORT FOR MOMS

On Tuesday morning, another online call connected me with a small group of mothers of adult children. We’ve begun meeting regularly to talk about expectations in this stage of life, inevitable disappointments that surface, and the hypervigilance that can creep in when life doesn’t unfold quite like we’d planned.

Being with this group of moms, hearing them speak honestly about their own experiences, is both comforting and clarifying. Parenting doesn’t end when children are grown—it just shifts. And the gift of community is learning from each other and feeling less alone as we go.

What stage of motherhood have you found the easiest so far? The most challenging? Do you have community (in person and/or online) to help you?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something that went well

• CONVERSATIONS ON JUSTICE

Sometimes it’s easier to find your people around a certain topic when you have the whole internet to choose from.

Later in the week, I joined an online book club of death penalty abolitionists to discuss Arbitrary Death: A Prosecutor’s Perspective on the Death Penalty by Rick Unklesbay. Listening to the insights of others reminded me that growth often comes by paying attention to perspectives outside my own.

If you’re curious to learn more, I highly recommend these books:

• Executing Grace: How the Death Penalty Killed Jesus and Why It’s Killing Us by Shane Claiborne, one of my top 9 books I read in 2024
• Ghosts Over the Boiler: Voices from Alabama’s Death Row by Project Hope to Abolish the Death Penalty, which I shared in a previous Share 4 Somethings post last November

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Something I let go of

• EXPECTATIONS FOR CONSTANT INSIGHTS

Lastly, on Saturday morning I joined Lory and a few others from around the world (Switzerland, India, Hungary, and the United States) for a 40-minute zoom session of a sacred reading (lectio divina). After listening to a selected text and reflecting on it, everyone shared what they learned.

In my in-person world, our paths would likely never have crossed and we would have never shared this joint experience.

In this session together I was reminded that not every moment has to be one of revelation. Life isn’t an endless stream of breakthroughs—and that’s okay. Ordinary days hold their own kind of awe.

If you’d like to experience one of these sessions (they’re free!), Lory at Enter Enchanted has set October 13 and October 25 for the two zoom sessions in October. Check her blog for details (or ask me in the comments).

While online gatherings will never replace sitting around a shared table, they do have their own gifts that are just as real:

1. Global connections with no borders.
   In a single call you can interact with others from around the world, hearing different accents, having real-time conversations, and looking in the eyes of others you might never know otherwise.
2. Accessibility and comfort.
   I love that online spaces remove barriers that might keep people from participating. Anyone can join as they are, from wherever they are, in ways that are comfortable to them in their own spaces.
3. Intimacy through focused listening.
   Online conversations work best when we give our full attention to each speaker. It reduces the side conversations and interruptions we often have in person. But in Zoom conversations we have to listen and speak one at a time, a courtesy given to each speaker, which benefits each listener as well.

These gifts remind me that community doesn’t have to look one particular way. Sometimes square boxes on a screen tie us together in strong and meaningful ways, too.

Where have you found unexpected connection—online or otherwise—this past month?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

]]> https://lisanotes.com/gifts-online-gatherings-share-4-somethings/feed/ 32 https://lisanotes.com/what-the-algorithm-did-to-our-wordsand-why-it-matters/ https://lisanotes.com/what-the-algorithm-did-to-our-wordsand-why-it-matters/#comments Fri, 18 Jul 2025 10:00:00 +0000 https://lisanotes.com/?p=43151 From Nadsat to “Unalive”: The Slippery Nature of Speech This month, I’m slowly making my way through A Clockwork Orange for an upcoming book club—and it’s not been easy. Originally… ]]>

From Nadsat to “Unalive”: The Slippery Nature of Speech

This month, I’m slowly making my way through A Clockwork Orange for an upcoming book club—and it’s not been easy. Originally published in 1962, the book’s teenage narrator uses a made-up slang language called Nadsat. For me, it turns every page into a decoding exercise because I don’t speak that language.

But it also reminds me of the real-life phenomenon almost every generation lives in when younger generations create new vocabularies and sometimes new grammar to set themselves apart.

The difference now is that it’s occurring at a quicker pace because it spreads online.

Reading the brand-new book Algospeak by Adam Aleksic at the same time as the older book A Clockwork Orange highlights to me that language has been used throughout time as a barrier—between youth and adults, insiders and outsiders, and now tech and tradition.

Aleksic’s book, subtitled How Social Media Is Transforming the Future of Language, is a lively, easy-to-read deep-dive into how algorithms are changing our language in the digital age. Aleksic is both a Harvard-trained linguist and a viral content creator known as @etymologynerd, so he is uniquely qualified to explain what’s happening—and why it matters.

What Is Algospeak?

“Algospeak” is the coded language people use online to avoid being flagged or censored by the algorithms. For example, creators use words like “unalive” instead of “dead,” or “SA” instead of “sexual assault,” to keep their work from being removed online.

But according to Aleksic, algorithms aren’t just changing language by creating these workarounds—it’s a more direct pipeline. Algorithms are shaping the very words we see and hear, and then share and speak.

The term “algospeak” was first popularized in a 2022 Washington Post article, but Aleksic uses it more broadly. He argues that algorithms don’t just police language—they influence which words go viral, which tones perform best, and how fast slang spreads across multiple platforms.

Algorithms, Identity, and Power

Aleksic’s deeper point is that algorithms are a new, invisible source of using language as power. When speech is under surveillance or suppression, people adjust how they say things. Especially among youth, these adjustments create new identities for those who learn to speak the same online slang, carving out a shared space where they feel they belong.

He also introduces readers to the euphemism treadmill. For example, he says,

“The words ‘idiot,’ ‘imbecile,’ and ‘moron’ all used to be serious words for classifying mental disability, but then they became negative, so we replaced them with the word ‘retarded,’ which also became negative, so we replaced that with ‘mentally disabled,’ which is also becoming negative.”

Nowadays, though, it’s not just society shaping the language, but platform policies and how the algorithm enforces them.

Rage-Bait, Rubbernecking, and Emotional Manipulation

A major theme of Algospeak is that the way algorithms change language is also how they manipulate emotion. Aleksic, himself an influencer, doesn’t deny the dark side of influencers using emotional hooks so they can stay visible longer in people’s feeds—what he calls “algorithmic pandering” and “rage-bait.”

As you already know if you have an Instagram or Facebook or any other social media account, the algorithm doesn’t give you what you consciously want to see—it shows you whatever it thinks will get the the biggest reaction from the most people.

Aleksic calls this “digital rubbernecking,” the online equivalent of when we slow down to look at a car crash on the side of the road.

The result? The algorithm is training us to overreact, to see ourselves as more polarized from other people than we really are. It creates a tendency in us to think that the extreme is normal, when it’s not.

The Resilience of Language—and of Us

Despite some of these depressing insights (alongside amusing insights, too), Algospeak ends with hope. Aleksic wants us to remember to use our humanness to create and connect when we’re online together. He writes,

“Language is, and will remain, one of the most important forms of power and belongingness.”

Even when our language is shaped by tech, we can still use it to express ourselves and connect with each other.

Aleksic closes his acknowledgements at the back of the book with this:

“Finally, to my readers. Keep being human and using language in new and exciting ways.”

And I believe we can keep using language in these ways—even in a world of algorithms and metadata.

Let’s keep finding fresh ways to say what we mean and mean what we say with creativity, beauty, and kindness.

If you like reading books about language, along with Aleksic, I also recommend these two books:

• Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language by Gretchen McCulloch
• Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language by Amanda Montell

Here’s an excellent NYTimes review of Algospeak here:

• “The Harvard-Educated Linguist Breaking Down ‘Skibidi’ and ‘Rizz’”

Have you seen online slang or coded language in a TikTok video or social media that has surprised or confused you? Share your thoughts here in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley for
the review copy of Algospeak

“We focus our anxieties on the wrong target. . . It is too soon to worry about computer chips implanted in our brains. People should instead worry about the smartphones on which they read these conspiracy theories.”
– Yuval Noah Harari

How Polite Are You to AI?

Do you ever follow up with a “Thank you” to AI? I often feel compelled to do it out of habit—and then realize it’s a little silly to be polite to a computer.

Plus, it’s expensive. Every time we ask AI to respond, it uses costly resources (I don’t quite understand it, but that’s what I read). Yet a 2024 survey found that 67% of AI users are courteous when interacting with AI either because they feel it’s morally imperative or to “hedge their bets in case of a future AI uprising.”

But the bigger question isn’t whether or not we should thank AI, but whether or not we should trust it.

What Nexus Reveals About Our Digital Lives

I just finished a fascinating book about artificial intelligence by Yuval Noah Harari, Nexus: A Brief History of Information Networks from the Stone Age to AI. In the book, Harari asks us to question any digital system that is increasingly shaping every aspect of our lives.

Nexus is the kind of book that challenges you to pause and reflect on how deeply embedded computers have become in our lives—not just as tools, but as active participants in our social, political, and emotional networks.

As we’ve all likely noticed, algorithms now:

• Determine which news stories are available to us
• Choose which friends we see online
• Nudge us toward certain products
• Amplify or silence certain opinions

The book’s premise is clear:

“The computer network has become the nexus [important connecting link] of most human activities. In the middle of almost every financial, social, or political transaction, we now find a computer. Consequently, like Adam and Eve in paradise, we cannot hide from the eye in the clouds.”

From Controlling Attention to Controlling Intimacy

Unlike previous revolutions in communication—writing, printing, radio—AI is not just another medium. It has its own intelligence; it has agency.

One of the most striking concepts Harari explores is the idea that we now live in a world where computers can create, manipulate, and impersonate intimacy.

In the 2010s, social media fought to control our attention. But now, Harari argues, the 2020s are about controlling our intimacy. What happens when bots begin making emotional connections—albeit fake ones—that influence how we vote, shop, or even understand ourselves?

Harari isn’t an alarmist about it, but he does tell us we need to get morally clear about this while we still have the ability to shape the future. He writes:

“We humans are still in control. We don’t know for how long, but we still have the power to shape these new realities.”

Rewriting Democracy’s Operating System

But that power comes with a cost: we need to deeply understand politics, society, and culture—not just technology. When we write code, we are, in effect, rewriting the operating system of democracy and human relationships.

As I read Nexus, I kept returning to my own questions that are both personal and political:

• How much information do I put online?
• And does it even matter anymore, if the system already knows everything about me anyway?

I didn’t get comforting reassurances from Harari. Instead, he reminded me we’ve already transitioned from a world where privacy was the default to one where surveillance is constant and often invisible.

Even more chilling is the idea that we are no longer just being observed—we are being reshaped. He says that algorithms, like children, learn from their environments. But unlike children, they never sleep, never forget, and may soon outperform us in areas we once believed were uniquely human—like recognizing emotion.

Harari writes,

“We yearn to be understood, but other humans often fail . . . because they are too preoccupied with their own feelings.”

But computers, devoid of their own emotional baggage, aren’t as easily distracted from giving us their full attention. They have the potential to become better at understanding us than we are at understanding each other.

Connection, Not Control

Yet this isn’t a book that dismisses humanity. Rather, it’s a powerful reminder that our shared humanity is something we must actively defend—especially through democratic principles.

Harari calls for systems that are:

• Benevolent
• Decentralized
• Based on mutual surveillance—where governments and corporations are watched just as closely as individuals.

In a world where trust in institutions is fading, Harari insists that self-correcting mechanisms—like independent media, academia, and the judiciary—are essential not just for truth but for the survival of democracy itself.

A line I keep returning to is:

“Information sometimes represents reality, and sometimes doesn’t. But it always connects.”

In the end, Nexus isn’t just about data or devices. It’s about connection—real and fake, healthy and manipulative, human and machine. It left me reflecting on how much of what I “know” comes from systems I didn’t build and can’t fully explain. We say “do your own research,” but Harari reminds us: we can’t survive alone. Trust is a collective act. And building trustworthy systems—ones that admit their flaws and evolve—may be our greatest challenge.

So yes, maybe I’ll keep saying thank you to AI. But more importantly, I’ll keep asking who’s behind the answer—and what they want me to believe.

—

Now, what if I told you that AI wrote this blog post you just read, up to this point anyway?

Well, it’s partially true. I fed AI my main takeaways from the book and key quotes I marked, then asked AI to turn it into prose. I took what it gave me, then did some major tweaking to make it my own.

But still . . . who now is the true author of this post? It was a collaboration between human and computer.

I don’t know if I should be excited about it. Or terrified.

Either way, it’s not a practice that feels authentic to me, so while I’ll continue asking AI for help on many tasks—including editing, I don’t want it to do my writing for me. Even if it can do it better.

Some tasks I’m just not ready to hand over yet to AI, thank you very much.

What do you use AI for? Share your thoughts in the comments.

My thanks to NetGalley and Random
House for the review copy of Nexus