You’ve hit the nail on the head for me: “Tolerance and friendship is a far more powerful incentive to change than scorn is.” The religion of my youth often depended on the fear of hell as motivation rather than the love of Christ. I much prefer love.

The intolerance of outsiders sometimes is a prerequisite to belonging in certain groups, but it’s so unhealthy. Once we’ve been an outsider (in any setting), we realize how cruel intolerance can be.

Interesting that the stated goal — “to model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together” — goes beyond the ground rules. The pursuit of truth depends on community and friendship and that depends in tolerance. Communities that are intolerant of outsiders generally turn on themselves (viz: knitting circles and purity spirals).

Thanks, Jean. Of the five rules, I need to keep working on “letting go of being right.” As an Enneagram 5, I want everyone to have the “right” information but sometimes I have it wrong myself, and sometimes it’s more loving to be quiet and listen rather than share my “information.” 🙂

You’re definitely on target that relationships have complications! 🙂 But that just gives us more opportunities to grow, right? Thanks for these insights, Theresa. I agree, too, that Jesus could confirm these 5 conversational rules as ways to love each other.

Me too. Joanne always says wise things! 🙂

It was a very interesting book, Paula. I’m really glad I read it.

I know what you’re saying, Jeanne. I feel like my opportunities have been limited so much the past year and a half. Which is just the way it had to be; I get it. But you’re right that we can be more intentional around the people we ARE around. Everyone wants to be heard, whoever and wherever they are.

I need to go watch that video as well. Thanks for sharing about it, Lois!

I had to go look up that song! 🙂 I vaguely remember it. It is quite a catchy tune; now I’ll have it in my head too. lol.