Most of us have heard this famous quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

It’s a beautiful truth.

Dr. King’s words are as powerful in our decade as they were in the 1960s.

Yet King said many more things than the few famous quotes we hear the third Monday of every January. I pass along a challenge to you that was given to me some years ago: read more of King’s original works.

One of my favorites is a collection of his sermons in Strength to Love. Many of the quotes below are from that book.

You can find King’s words online and in print quite easily. If you want to further the cause of equality and love in our country, read some of these inspired words.

And then use what you read by loving those around you.

• Whoever they are.
• Whatever they look like.
• Whatever they believe.

We’re all in this together.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. Only in this way shall we live without the fatigue of bitterness and the drain of resentment.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love

And if you need to hear Dr. King’s voice again, listen here.

[If you can’t see the video, watch here]

Quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must learn that passively to accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, and thereby to become a participant in its evil.”

~ * ~

“It should now be apparent that sincerity and conscientiousness in themselves are not enough. History has proven that these noble virtues may degenerate into tragic vices. Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

~ * ~

“Our most fruitful course is to stand firm with courageous determination, move forward nonviolently amid obstacles and setbacks, accept disappointments, and cling to hope.”

~ * ~

“Courage, therefore, is the power of the mind to overcome fear. Unlike anxiety, fear has a definite object which may be faced, analyzed, attacked, and, if need be, endured.”

~ * ~

“We say that war is a consequence of hate, but close scrutiny reveals this sequence: first fear, then hate, then war, and finally deeper hatred.”

~ * ~

“Is there a cure for these annoying fears that pervert our personal lives? Yes, a deep and abiding commitment to the way of love.”

~ * ~

“Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a better person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.”

~ * ~

“We need leaders not in love with money but in love with justice. Not in love with publicity but in love with humanity.”

* * *

Have you read any of Dr. King’s writings? His “I have a dream” speech? Please share in the comments.

revised from the archives

Related:

• The Dark Chapters
• When You’re the Minority
• Color Blind? Us vs Them

]]> https://lisanotes.com/only-love-martin-luther-king/feed/ 10 https://lisanotes.com/her-long-awaited-vote-ms-es-journey-to-representation/ https://lisanotes.com/her-long-awaited-vote-ms-es-journey-to-representation/#comments Wed, 30 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000 https://lisanotes.com/?p=40816 A Determined Woman for History Back in September, Ms. E came to us a little unsure, asking for help to see if she was still registered to vote. She wasn’t… ]]>

A Determined Woman for History

Back in September, Ms. E came to us a little unsure, asking for help to see if she was still registered to vote. She wasn’t certain if she was still on the rolls. She had voted by absentee ballot in the last presidential election.

But this time, it’s different for her.

She doesn’t want to simply mail in her ballot.

Do It In Person

This time, Ms. E is determined to do everything she can to vote in person, because for the first time in her life (in all our lives!), she will have the opportunity to cast a ballot for a Black woman running for President of the United States.

Ms. E is an elderly Black friend of ours. She didn’t think she’d ever live to see this moment—a Black woman on the ballot for the highest office in our nation. After 46 presidents, with just one person of color among them—and even he was a man—she’s seeing the turning of a new page in history.

We hear the enthusiasm in her voice and see the determination in her eyes.

Representation Matters

We all like to see a piece of ourselves in the world, whether it’s in the media we watch, in the books we read, in the conversations we have.

And in the slate of legislators we vote for. Everyone deserves to be acknowledged, respected, and understood.

Like all of us, Ms. E wants to vote for someone who knows what it’s like to live in her skin.

Do You Belong Here?

If you’ve ever walked into a party and discovered you’re the only one in a t-shirt when everyone else is in a ballgown, or you’re the only female at the table surrounded completely by men, or you’re the only person with your skin tone among a sea of one color, you might relate to feeling underrepresented.

But if even one person is beside you who shares your similar journey, you feel more understood.

This year, diversity at the top of the ticket isn’t just something to imagine; it’s something within reach, and Ms. E wants to show up in person to support it.

Her Plan Is Ready

We asked Ms. E yesterday if she had her voting plan ready. “Oh, yes,” she said with a smile. We knew she had confirmed her registration a few weeks earlier. She told us she now has at least three other people lined up to go to the polls with her. She’s ready.

I wish I could be by Ms. E’s side on November 5, to witness her mark that historic box on the ballot. Her excitement, I’m sure, will be contagious. In that simple act, I hope she’ll feel a little more seen, a little more heard.

When people like Ms. E are also represented, it doesn’t just uplift one person; it strengthens our whole community.

Because every voice, every experience, every person—like our beautiful Ms. E—truly does matter.

Read more:

• When You’re the Minority
  Want to better understand how others feel? Become a minority in their world.
• Does This Look Like Me?
  Who do you see when you read a book? We all benefit from a healthy role model.
• Thoughts from an Island Jail – Rattle the Bars
  The loud BOOM startles us. What is it? On this morning it makes us feel deeper about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Have Enough Favorites?

It’s been a few years now, but I remember the night Brian brought me Vietnamese spring rolls.

He had made spring rolls a couple weeks earlier and brought them to our English as a Second Language class. But I wasn’t there that week. With no time to make homemade rolls again the following week just for me, he bought some from a local Vietnamese restaurant.

He pulled out the takeout box for me to have.

Vietnamese food is an unknown to me. I’m not adventurous in the food department. I like what I like. I have enough favorite foods already; why would I need to try new ones?

But having a Vietnamese friend was once an unknown to me, too.

When New Is Uncomfortable

Brian isn’t his original name. It’s the name he gave himself when he came to America a few months earlier from his home in Vietnam. It’s easier to say.

When I wanted to learn how to pronounce his real name anyway, he laughed and gently told me it would be too hard. I could just call him Brian. He liked that name.

Learning new things can be uncomfortable. Meeting new people even more so. Especially when you speak different languages. It feels rude to ask someone to repeat a word over and over because you can’t understand what they’re saying. Or to be asked in return to speak slower because they’re lost.

Differences often separate us. It’s hard to jump the hurdles to find commonalities. It takes energy and motivation. And time.

To practice his English, Brian prefered real conversations with a native speaker instead of learning through a workbook. So for an hour and a half each Thursday night week after week, we simply talked.

We worked on his pronunciation skills (the th sound is hard for him) and I explained definitions of words he was unsure of (like meteorologist). But we did so through natural discussions about the differences and similarities in our two cultures of America and Vietnam. Weddings, clothing, schools, food, family, holidays, religion.

It Goes Both Ways

As I learned more about Brian’s culture, I learned more about mine, too. Sometimes I’m proud of it; sometimes I’m shamed. The Vietnamese do many things better, some things worse, just like we do.

Even though our sounds differ, our minds search for similar information, our hearts feel the same emotions, our souls want the same connections.

The teaching and learning didn’t go only one direction, but back and forth, round and round.

One word at a time, one conversation at a time, the teacher/student dynamic broke down. It grew into friend-to-friend.

Welcome Home

Despite the hindrances, it’s possible to overcome barriers and reconnect in meaningful ways.

Granted, it takes more effort to understand each other when we don’t sound the same. We have to think harder, lean in, listen closer.

Welcoming the outsider often feels awkward. But we’ve all been the stranger. We know what it means to have received hospitality as a stranger as well as to extend hospitality to the strangers around us. To help others feel at home.

Our efforts are worth it when we discover our common humanity.

I opened the takeout box to try a spring roll. It looked as foreign as it was. I timidly dipped a corner of the rice paper into the sauce. Brian urged me to dunk it more fully. I tried it.

It was good, but it tasted alien to my American tastebuds. I would need a few more bites.

When I got home, I encouraged my husband Jeff to try one, too. He did. The culture was spreading. We’d never had Vietnamese food in our mouths—in our house—and now we had both experienced it.

It was no longer an unknown.

Welcome home.

* * *

When have you been an outsider? When have you welcomed the stranger?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

Several hundred of us are seated in rows in a comfortably warm auditorium this Sunday morning on St. Simon’s Island. We’ve been here since Friday afternoon for the Southern Lights conference. We’ve been listening and singing and talking about dismantling harmful hierarchies for three days.

On this day—the Sunday before America officially celebrates Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday on the third Monday of each year—we are hearing excerpts from one of Dr. King’s most famous writings. A panel of six people take turns reading “Letter from Birmingham Jail” from the front of the auditorium as images of Dr. King flash across the screens.

The third reader begins her section of the letter when out of nowhere . . . BOOM!!!

Every eye in the room looks toward the front. All six of the readers are still standing, although visibly rattled and confused.

What was that sound? Could it be . . . was it possibly. . . a gun shot?

I look toward Jeff. As are those around us, we too are disturbed. We all stay seated, awaiting word of what to do next.

Prior to the boom, we were all paying attention to Dr. King’s words, no doubt. We care, to be sure. The people in the room have a heart for social justice.

We silently say that’s right when we hear his words from April 16, 1963, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” We nod our heads yes to his statement that, “Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

Yet how engaged are our hearts, on this once-quiet Sunday morning on a beautiful island in a room full of fellow white peers?

It’s easy to become complacent as a white person.

• I fear nothing more than a fine if blue lights pull me over on I-65.
• I’m never suspiciously followed through a store as I shop for clothes.
• I don’t endure daily microaggressions as I journey through the world robed in white skin.

Even here on St. Simon’s Island when I hear a loud BOOM, it’s only for a split second that I wonder if an active shooter is among us. While anyone can be a target for gun violence, middle-age white women aren’t the normal mass targets.

Yet this BOOM did shake me up. It caught my attention. It made me wonder—deeper in my bones this time—how Dr. King and his family and other Black people and activists for civil rights felt when they were daily threatened with and too often experienced violence.

And how did they feel when that very real assassin’s bullet did boom its way through Dr. King’s body on April 4, 1968, in Memphis, Tennessee?

The reader at the front of the room resumes her reading of Dr. King’s words. Everything is apparently okay after all.

But we are listening more closely now. The disruption of the loud noise has focused our attention.

Isn’t it strange how things change when our personal safety is threatened, even if only imagined and only temporarily?

It jangles the bars of our apathy.

At the letter’s conclusion, we each take individual unlit candles to the front of the room. One at a time we light our single candle from the flame of larger candles already burning. We place each candle around the others in a container, creating a beautiful, strong flickering of multiple points of light.

We then spread to create a giant human circle around the room, grabbing a hand and singing We Shall Overcome.

It’s poignant. It’s meaningful.

But it’s not enough. We know it.

We’re now admonished to go forth and get into “good trouble.” I think of my options. They’re all small candles.

• Hold uncomfortable conversations.
• Visit more civil rights sites (and revisit The Legacy Museum in Montgomery, AL?).
• Speak up when I see/hear racism.
• Buy goods from Black-owned businesses.
• Read more books.
• Vote responsibly.
• Show up to support Black-sponsored events.
• Be mindful of ways I unconsciously participate in propagating racist systems instead of choosing more intentional ways to eradicate them.

Individually, they are such small twinkles. But my one candle with your one candle and the next one candle can together create a blizzard of light.

And together we can create a lot of noise as we break free of our jail cells of powerlessness and resignation and apathy.

We never learn what caused the loud boom Sunday morning. Perhaps something to do with a speaker malfunction? We’ll likely never know, now that we’ve left the island.

On our way back to Alabama, I download the full version of Dr. King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail (get it here). I read its entirety as Jeff drives. The section about “white moderates” stands out to me. Is Dr. King talking about me?

This:

“History is the long and tragic story of the fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily.”

And this:

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”

Dr. King’s words are alive and powerful even today. What will we do with them? More than just quote them on Instagram?

I lack complete answers. But I do know this: We can each light our candle. Do our one thing.

And that can rattle the bars.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read more:

• When You Don’t Want to Wake Up
  Is this what being awake feels like? Sometimes it’s hard and I want nothing more than to go back to sleep.
• Is This Your Work to Do?
  But what can I do? Gets lots of ideas to fight racism in this book, Do the Work!
• When History Makes You Sick
  His questions gut me. I rush to the bathroom. I throw up. Racism is a sickness that hurts everyone.
• Can White People Be Good Friends to Black People?
  White people, are we listening to our Black neighbors? Believing their experiences? Changing for them and for us?

Day to Day

I was in Dollar General with my friend. She needed to pick up a few essentials.

As I walked alongside her, I noticed she wasn’t shopping smart. Instead of buying the cheaper twin pack of macaroni and cheese, she was getting the single box, which was more costly per unit. She repeated this error picking up a small pack of toilet paper instead of the larger economy size.

I didn’t understand it at the time.

But now I do. It wasn’t that she was being frivolous with her money; it was that was all she had. She didn’t have enough money to buy things in bulk.

She only had enough money for her urgent needs. She could only afford one thing at a time, even if it wasn’t economically wise.

That’s only one small example of how poor people get entrapped into staying poor.

America Causes Poverty?

For many larger examples of the sources of poverty, read Matthew Desmond’s newest book, Poverty, by America.

Look closer at the title. Is Desmond insinuating that we richer Americans are part of the problem in keeping poorer Americans poor?

Yes, exactly.

And it’s devastating—but enlightening—to read in detail how we’re doing it, often unaware of it.

For instance, Desmond writes,

“By one estimate, simply collecting unpaid federal income taxes from the top 1 percent of households would bring in some $175 billion a year. We could just about fill the entire poverty gap in America if the richest among us simply paid all the taxes they owed.”

I’m far from being in the top 1% of households. I pay my full taxes owed. I’m not on welfare. I don’t collect food stamps. My housing isn’t subsidized by the government.

But does that mean I am not benefiting from government handouts myself?

Desmond says that the average rich and middle-class family draws on the same number of government benefits as the average poor family.

Who’s on the Dole?

How am I benefiting from government aid? Here are a few ways:

• I benefited when my husband got health insurance from his job. Health insurance is one of the single largest tax breaks issued by the federal government.
• I benefited when I could deduct mortgage interest on my income taxes.
• I benefited when I receive free checking accounts at my bank because the accounts are subsidized by billions of dollars in overdraft fees.

I’m not saying those things are wrong to accept. But I am saying (or rather Desmond is saying it), “We’re all on the dole.“

Virtually all Americans, rich or poor, benefit from some form of public aid. “Today, the biggest beneficiaries of federal aid are affluent families.”

And the more the rich receive, the less available there is for the poor.

“Decade after decade, the poverty rate has remained flat even as federal relief has surged. How could this be? — Part of the answer, I learned, lies in the fact that a fair amount of government aid earmarked for the poor never reaches them.”

Be a Poverty Abolitionist

“This is who we are: the richest country on earth, with more poverty than any other advanced democracy.”

So what can we do about it?

Desmond calls on us to become poverty abolitionists.

“We are connected, members of a shared nation and a shared economy, where the advantages of the rich often come at the expense of the poor. But that arrangement is not inevitable or permanent. It was made by human hands and can be unmade by them.

We can fashion a new society, starting with our own lives. Where we decide to work and live, what we buy, how we vote, and where we put our energies as citizens all have consequences for poor families. Becoming a poverty abolitionist, then, entails conducting an audit of our lives, personalizing poverty by examining all the ways we are connected to the problem—and to the solution.“

Specifically, here are just a few suggestions that Desmond gives in Poverty, by America.

• Make friends with those who are poor, not just to help them (although do that too if you’re able), but for genuine connection; you’ll become more familiar with their struggles along the way.
• Allow the IRS to crack down on corporations and individuals who cheat on their taxes. (Desmond says, “Studies have shown that most Americans pay 90 percent of the taxes they owe, but the ultra-rich pay only 75 percent.“)
• Be aware of not only the environmental impact of your purchases, but also the poverty impact.
• Investigate what a fair minimum wage should be and then vote for legislators who are supportive.
• Develop a mindset of alleviating poverty instead of overlooking it.
• Make it less complicated and confusing for those who need aid to receive it. 

Desmond concludes his book with this:

“Every person, every company, every institution that has a role in perpetuating poverty also has a role in ameliorating it. The end of poverty is something to stand for, to march for, to sacrifice for. . . .

The citizens of the richest nation in the world can and should finally put an end to it. We don’t need to outsmart this problem. We need to outhate it.”

Poverty, by America isn’t a how-to book on solving poverty, but it is a compelling book on recognizing the problems. And encouraging us to do better.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks to NetGalley + Crown
for the review copy of this book

I’m linking at these blog parties

Grace & Truth Featured Post

Mother’s Day isn’t all smiles and roses for many women.

If you are one of the women like me who struggle on Mother’s Day for a variety of reasons, I encourage you to read Maree’s post on how we can feel more than one thing at a time, both joy and sadness.

Read Maree’s post at her blog, then link your own blog post below.

“Sometimes Mother’s Day Hurts”

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

We’ve all been horrified by the killing of another Black man in Memphis last week.

Tyre Nichols was pulled over during a traffic stop on January 7. He was brutally beaten by Memphis police officers, then died three days later in the hospital.

I couldn’t watch the video. I didn’t want to see the images. They’re too cruel.

But I know it happened. I don’t want to block that out. I don’t need to block that out.

I need to understand. Only with awareness will I be able to do the work to help change it. 

Books like this one by W. Kamau Bell and Kate Schatz help us understand what’s going on, Do the Work: An Antiracist Activity Book.

Bell and Schatz help us see that racism goes beyond any individual act or thought.

Racism is steeped in systems. When a system is bad, you can plug any number of characters into it, and get the same bad results.

Do the Work takes a look into the bad systems. And helps us see the bad parts that remain in even some basically good systems.

It’s not enough to not be racist. We need to be proactively anti-racist.

This book may look like a fun activity book, but it’s much, much more.

A favorite quote:

“White people: It can be hard to talk about racism. But it’ll never be as hard as it is to experience racism.“

May I never forget that.

Do you have a favorite resource on overcoming racism? Who in your life has helped you be anti-racist? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read more:

• Is This Your Work to Do?

You are on Day #3 of the series, A Book a Day {Nonfiction Favorites}.

Each day of February 2023 I’ll be recommending one book a day from my favorite nonfiction books.

The Table of Contents for all 28 books is here, updated daily.

Subscribe here to get the recommendations via email (if you don’t already subscribe to the blog).

Previous:
“The Sleep Solution” {Book 2}

Next:
“Bittersweet” {Book 4}

Grace & Truth Featured Post

I have some people I need to forgive right now. You too? And I am always in need of forgiveness by other people (sometimes the two sets intersect).

This forgiveness post by Linda really grabbed my heart. She gives lots of sage advice about forgiveness. But these small paragraphs nestled in the midst of it all are gold:

“But it turns out that forgiveness can be as simple as this:

Finally telling the Lord, ‘I’m done hauling this pain around. You take it. I wish my perpetrator well.’

Yes. That simple.”

Amen.

Read all of Linda’s wisdom here at her blog, then link up your own blog posts below.

“Here’s Why You Should Forgive (and 3 surprising reasons you shouldn’t forget)”

Review the linkup rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

Did I Really Do That?

I’m not sure what came over me. I hadn’t planned to say anything. But I did. 

I was waiting in line to take communion at the retreat center last Sunday. This was the final day of the Southern Lights conference we’d been attending on St. Simons Island, Georgia.

A sweet woman I’d met only briefly just the day before was about to pass by me in the opposite direction. She was on the way back to her seat after having already received the bread and wine.

But she paused when she saw me. Quickly and quietly, she reached out her hand. We locked eyes. I put my hand on her shoulder and leaned in.

I whispered five words in her ear. I knew why. But did she understand?

She responded back, “I know, right?”

Then the line moved on.

I didn’t see her again. I may never see her again. 

But I won’t forget her.

Don’t Grow Weary

Only minutes earlier, we’d been listening to a message from the powerful Reggie Williams, not the retired NBA basketball player, but the Associate Professor at McCormick Theological Seminary and author of the renowned book, Bonhoeffer’s Black Jesus (I haven’t read it yet, but I want to).

Dr. Williams, or Reggie as he called himself, had been delivering a powerful message about Elijah being weary after his battle on Mount Carmel with the prophets of Baal. He reminded us we, too, can get weary as we long to share God’s genuine love in this world.

Rest when you need to, but don’t grow weary, Reggie told us.

He talked about the oppression still in our country. About how “there’s no hate like Christian love.” About how freedom is when we are “free to love each other.”

And he talked about how so many have tried to take away freedom from Black women in particular, to control their bodies, for so many years.

The Five Words

When he said that, I thought of the new friend I’d briefly met Saturday.

She had stood up in our small group session and told us her story. She’d been sex trafficked for 15 years. She finally broke free from it. But when she went to church, she was met with roadblocks from some white folk in her struggle to crawl to the cross. 

But she made it anyway. She went back to school. And now she’s well on her way to securing her PhD.

So after Reggie’s sermon, when this woman of God walked by me in her majestic Black skin, I felt compelled to whisper these words, “Don’t let anybody control you.”

Looking back, I wonder if she wondered why I said that. Maybe she thought I was just a crazy white woman. Maybe I am. 

But no matter. I know why I said the words. 

I wanted to encourage her to stay strong in the freedom she’s found.

Because I need her to stay free. I need to see the work and wonder and Love she’ll be putting into the world for years to come.

I know we’ll all be the better for it.

Share your thoughts in the comments. 

I’m linking at these blog parties

Grace & Truth Featured Post

Over 15 years ago, Molly quietly spoke two words to Stephanie after only knowing each other a week.

I got goosebumps reading Stephanie’s story. It prompted me to remember and write down my own incident I just shared above. 

Read all of Stephanie’s post here, then add your own links below.

“Hold. Steady.”

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

Is It Worth Getting Out of Bed?

I hear our little guy stirring in his crib. We are babysitting our 1½-year-old grandson for the weekend.

He is awake now.

I walk into his room and smile. He stands up. I tell him I am glad he is awake, that he can get out of the crib now and play.

But instead of letting me lift him out of the crib, he sits back down. He keeps looking past my shoulder.

I know what’s happening. He’s waiting for Gramps to get him out of bed instead of me.

I’m not (too) offended. I’m certain he loves me, too, but I’ve seen the special connection he has with Jeff, his Gramps. They toss balls inside the house, play with toy trucks, and make loud animal sounds together.

So our grandson is fine with staying in bed a few extra minutes if it means Gramps will show up soon to play.

Wakefulness Can Be Hard

Waking up and getting ready for the day isn’t always easy for us adults either. Sleep is sweet. We temporarily disconnect from our real-life problems. Waking up means facing reality again, which can be hard.

But wakefulness is where we’re meant to live.

I spent time on Zoom last Saturday with a group of Racial Equity Buddies. They are people committed to deconstructing racism in our country.

As we talked, I kept hearing this voice in my head: Stay awake.

It wasn’t because I felt lulled to sleep by the conversation. Quite the contrary. The dialogue was lively and engaging.

But as a middle-class white female, my temptation is to stay in my comfortable bed, dreaming sweet dreams, not wanting to wake up to the harsh realities that exist in our world.

Yet staying asleep isn’t an option if we’re called to love each other, to advocate on behalf of the poor, marginalized, and disenfranchised, and to support each other when we need help.

Waking up means taking off the blinders, seeing both the good and the bad. Awareness is necessary before change can happen.

What’s Your Alarm Clock?

After the Zoom meeting was over, I wondered about my internal alarm clock of values. What wakes me up? What keeps me awake? What can motivate me to care about fighting racial injustice and other disparities in our world?

For me, it’s other people. People are my alarm clock. They are my wakeup call.

• They are the wide variety of voices and experiences different from me that I hear in books and videos.
• They are the people similar to me except for skin tone as we catch up in person over a stack of pancakes.
• They are the ones who talk to me each week in the midst of lives trapped in poverty due to systemic hardships I have never faced.
• They are people already out there during the work day in and day out, allowing me to follow along behind them.

The divinity embedded in other people connect with the divinity embedded in me.

I need them all to help me stay awake. To look up and listen. Then to look in and seek change.

Staying asleep and remaining oblivious may feel comfortable during the night, but it’s not healthy during the day. As one of our group members stated on Saturday,

“Silence and complicity and complacency have no place here.”

The pull is strong on a daily basis for me to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my eyes, and turn on another episode of The Office. And I do those things at night when it’s time.

But when it is day, my task is to find ways to stay self-motivated to do the work. I want to remain awake to love the people God loves, to do the things God has for me to do, even though I do it poorly, one baby step at a time.

Awake Is Love

Our grandson sits in the crib a minute longer. He listens and watches me as I chat with him. He finally understands that Gramps isn’t coming this time, unconsciously knowing it’s more advantageous to let me get him out of bed than sit indefinitely until Gramps can.

He raises his arms to me, and I lift him up and out. His day has officially begun. We laugh and play and eat breakfast together.

This is being awake. It can be work. Sometimes it’s hard and I want nothing more than to go back to sleep.

Yet being awake is also good. Very good.

Awake is being aware. Awake is being alive. Awake is being love.

Do you wake up to an alarm clock? What’s your motivation to get up each day? Share your thoughts in the comments.

]]> https://lisanotes.com/when-you-dont-want-to-wake-up/feed/ 5 https://lisanotes.com/look-good-for-your-age-tips-to-fight-ageism/ https://lisanotes.com/look-good-for-your-age-tips-to-fight-ageism/#comments Fri, 02 Dec 2022 10:00:00 +0000 https://lisanotes.com/?p=33673 Is This a Compliment? “You’re how old?” I tell my friend my number. He says he can’t believe it. He says I look great for my age. Is this a… ]]>

Is This a Compliment?

“You’re how old?”

I tell my friend my number. He says he can’t believe it. He says I look great for my age.

Is this a compliment? Or not?

I’m conflicted.

I assume nobody wants to look older than their age in our culture.

But do we need to look younger?

What Counts As Old?

If you’ve tried buying a birthday card for anyone over age 29, you’ve seen all the “old age” cards, the “over the hill” slams, the “old geezer” jokes.

But who is considered old?

It depends.

By life expectancy standards, you’re “old” when you’re within 15 years of dying.

Both my parents died when they were in their early 70s, so if I follow their pattern, at 60 I’m already technically “old.”

But if were a woman in Japan, where a 60-year-old woman is expected to live to be 88 (it’s 85 in the U.S.), I wouldn’t be considered “old” until I am 73. (See this chart for how many years, on average, you have left, depending on your current age.)

We don’t want to die young, yet we don’t want to get old.

More conflicts.

Fear of Aging Is Cultural

In This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, Ashton Applewhite writes,

“Fear of dying is human. Fear of aging is cultural.”

Maybe it’s not old age itself that we fear.

So what do we fear?

• Getting sick. 
• Feeling more pain.
• Having limitations.
• Becoming dependent.
• Losing our memories.

But these things are not the same thing as aging. Getting older is, well, just getting older.

Granted, the difficult things we fear do occur more often with age. But not always and not necessarily. And hopefully we’ll not be alone to deal with them if/when they do occur.

4 Tips Against Ageism

To avoid being ageist (discriminating against people because of their age, whether younger or older), here are a few tips.

1. Give compliments about the trait, not the age.
When you compliment someone, don’t connect it to their age. Instead of saying, “You’re so young at heart,” say “You’re fun to be around.”

2. Avoid addressing people with cutesy names.
Not every older person (or person of any age) appreciates being called “Sweetie” or “Young lady.” Unless you know someone prefers it, don’t do it. It might feel degrading to them, even if your intention is good.

3. Accept age as you do other traits.
Age itself should be neutral, just as skin tone, height, or eye color should be neutral. We don’t need to be blind to it, but we can stop discriminating against it.

4. Associate with people of all ages.
Don’t assume you only have things in common with people of your own generation. Mix it up.

By becoming more aware of the ageist things we think and say, we can eliminate some of the bias against olders (and youngers). After all, our goal is to keep living, thus joining the crowd of olders (if we’re not already there), and we don’t want to discriminate against ourselves.

Every Age Has Purpose

I just had a milestone birthday last week. I’m still struggling to adopt an improved mindset against ageism. I hear the negative voices in my own head about getting older.

But I’m at least becoming more aware of the ageist stereotypes I’ve been duped into believing. That’s the first step out of them.

Because as long as I’m still here, whatever my age and however I look, I want to live my best life, even with boundaries that may develop over time.

God designed each of us to live with purpose—to love others and be loved by others. We can do this at any age.

Yes, we may (or may not) have to shift the way we travel or shop or care for ourselves as we age, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live fully, with meaning and joy.

If it happens again that someone tells me I look good for my age, I’ll still say thank you.

But I might reply back, You look good for your age too, whatever age that is!

How do you feel about your age? Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Grace & Truth Featured Post

You may have already asked yourself this question that Jan asks on her blog: Why has God allowed me to live so long?

Read all of Jan’s post to hear her insights and gather your own.

“Why Have I Lived So Long?”

Review the rules here about adding your most recent Christian Living posts and how to be the Featured Post. Visit all four hosts social media here or websites here: Maree Dee, Lisa notes, Lauren Sparks, Tammy Kennington.

Now Let’s Link Up!

White Savior Complex

It was 2020, a few months after the murder of George Floyd. My friend and I were in a message thread with each other, complaining about politicians, about lack of change in race relations, about being tired of it all.

I was ranting about being tired too, despite having privilege my whole life living in this light skin.

But I couldn’t leave it at that.

I went on to tell my beautiful Black friend that I’d get back up to fight another day, but that she needed to rest. She’d done enough.

After I hit send, I cringed at what I wrote.

I sounded like such a white savior*. Ugh.

* read: What Is White Savior Complex?

But I couldn’t undo the message.

Here’s the Work

That’s why I need to keep learning from friends AND keep reading books like this new one, Do the Work!: An Antiracist Activity Book by W. Kamau Bell and Kate Schatz.

Often our #1 question about racism is: What can I do???

This workbook answers that question.

But not only does this book include serious how-to work, it presents it in a fun way. Along with informative text, the book also includes comics, lift-the-flaps, crossword puzzles, coloring pages, and activities. Kamau and Kate work hard to engage the readers so we’ll follow through and act.

What can YOU do? Here are a few of the MANY things listed in this book.

• Shop at local BIPOC- and immigrant-owned businesses.
• Find out whose land you’re on. Learn more about Indigenous customs, languages, and contemporary life at native-land.ca.
• Call out racism in Nextdoor threads.
• Practice new responses to white defensiveness [see below]
• Sign up for antiracist training.
• Celebrate activist birthdays.
• Fight voter suppression.
• Know your elected representatives and how to contact them.
• Learn about and donate to help oppressed peoples in other parts of the globe.
• Watch films with a BIPOC lead and cast.
• Read books by BIPOC authors.
• Do the work in your real-life spaces (school, house of worship, work, gym, book club, etc.)
• Catch up on the news, including local news.
• Offer support during challenging times.
• Make new friends who are different from you.
• VOTE!
• And if you’re white, learn how to organize other white people to take action without being righteous know-it-alls.

Here’s a page from Do the Work! on how to respond to White Defensiveness.

Again and Again

Talking about racism is hard.

But as Kamau says,

“White people: It can be hard to talk about racism, but it’ll never be as hard as it is to experience racism.”

Becoming antiracist (an active supporter of antiracist policies) isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s something we do again and again and again.

So I continue to learn and practice. Practice and learn.

That includes messing up. I often go wrong in what I DO say and even more in what I DO NOT say.

After the flubbed-up message to my friend, I vowed again to keep learning and practicing. (I’m grateful for friends who do the work of forgiving me again and again.)

Because white supremacy is alive and real. Keep noticing where it shows up. Use what skills you have to help eliminate it.

We all can do the work.

Are there 2 or 3 things from the list that you can do?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

Read More:

• Recommended Reading on Racial Justice
• Can White People Be Good Friends to Black People?
• When History Makes You Sick

thanks to NetGalley + Workman Publishing
for the review copy of this book