I appreciate you sharing your wrestlings with us here, Cindy. This topic is a sensitive one. I used to think I totally understood what the “rules” were, but as I got older, I saw things differently. I hope you continue working through these things, as unnerving as they may be. It sounds like you are onto something.

For me, in general I’ve decided to err on the side of love, when in doubt. I’d rather be accused of loving too many and too broadly than of loving too little and too few.

And btw, I totally see what you’re saying with the worship teams. I saw that happen with my previous church too; the older people got replaced with the younger ones. I think it’s an example of ageism. 🙂

Thanks for sharing that you’ve had a similar experience, Jo. If we could all live true to Galatians 3:28, relationships could be smoother, yes? 🙂 Sometimes it’s difficult to let go of our traditions when God’s love may be calling us to do something different. But you nailed it that trusting Jesus (not each other) is our saving grace!

I’m also late but dealing with this now too. I was one of those people who agreed that the Bible is pretty clear that women don’t get to hold the office of pastor, but it never occurred to me that women couldn’t speak, pray, even teach in some circumstances, in mixed company until I attended a membership class a few years ago at a Baptist church. I appreciated that they made it explicit but I could not overcome a sense that if nothing else, this was a recipe for abuse, spiritual and beyond.

The problem, for me, is that because I was abused as a child and have seen all kinds of abuse in churches, it’s hard to know what’s what. Am I drawn to abuse? Do I over-respond to hints of it when I finally see it? Am I just “lawless?
Unrepentant?

When covid locked us all out of our churches, forced us to online participation, I discovered YouTube. This has resulted in my learning a lot, but has also been so confusing that I decided it was more important for me to get plain teaching and clear boundaries (lest I end up repenting for being white, on top of everything else?) even if it meant denying significant parts of my faith walk. (It seems that churches that take a hard line on women also take a hard line on the role of the Holy Spirit.) But now, this little church has asked me to serve, which was fine until they added that they’d like me to be a “member”. I’ve pretty much worked out that I can’t be, but it’s spun me back out into the “where CAN I go?” sea of confusion. It seems like any I look at “erase” me somehow: I’m too old to serve on worship team (despite that being probably my area of greatest ‘anointing’, and my voice not being ‘old’–it just seems like so many churches are about attracting young people and apparently old people on the platform don’t send the right message.) I’m too conservative Biblically and politically for a vast array of others (I live in Portland, OR, might make a difference.) I’m not vaccinated. Seriously, we still have churches around here that don’t let you in if you can’t show proof of vaxx. I am a “charismatic” woman who believes we are to go where the Spirit leads us but who also doesn’t believe we’re meant to focus on seeking manifestations. I AM old enough to be tired, tired of so much confusion, controversy, I get why so many churches are just not fighting any more, but it scares me if/when a woman preaches…agh! What am I most wrong about? I don’t know. ?