Thanks, Paula. I’m still pondering these things too. Blessings to you as well!

I’m sorry that it didn’t work out as planned, Janis. 🙁 This makes me sad. I wonder if this is how it will be when we go back on June 6. I don’t know of any precautions our church is taking any more, so it makes me very hesitant to throw myself back into the fray with no boundaries, even though we are both fully vaccinated too. I know that many are not. I’m just so torn about it all.

But as we’ve done with other events the past few months, Jeff and I will give each other permission to make a “let’s go home right now” decision at the last second if needed, like you and your husband did! We each have to use our God-given judgment to make the best decisions for us individually. What’s right for some isn’t right for all, and we all have to be gracious about it. I admire what you did in going home, and revamping your plan to try again next week in a different way! My friend’s church did it that way. She started out in the masked service (it’s always the early one, why is that? ha), but has since moved to the unmasked 2nd service.

Lisa, I’m sad to say that when we pulled into the parking lot, it was packed. We went to our second service which no longer has mask requirements (I’m not an early bird–I guess that will be changing). So, I did not want to enter a packed church, not knowing who has taken precautions and who hasn’t. And this thought even though we’ve both been fully vaccinated. I still have a hesitancy about being in large crowds.
So we returned home and turned on the online service.
We’ll try again next week for the earlier service which requires masks at certain points–entering, existing, and worshipping. Typically, the earlier service has a lower attendance.
Praying we all figure out this safety issue and vulnerability after vaccination.

My heart broke as I read your experience, Linda. I was actually reading your comment this morning as I was watching online church (which admittedly looking at blog stuff while “at church” is NOT something I would do with in-person church, so there’s that.)

My heart feels divided too. At a time when many of us really longed to be in church, it seemed like the most unsafe place to be because of the way it was handled. I know many churches did require masks or held outdoor services, which I applaud!, but many did not, especially not where I am and likely where you are.

Our county now has about 37% vaccinated, which is among the highest in the state, sadly. But among our church members, I’d imagine the percentage is even lower.

Like you, I don’t understand all the different positions on this. I’m trying to be accepting of individual decisions, but some decisions seem to be more considerate than others. And among Christians, I’d expect to see the most considerate of all, but I haven’t seen that in many situations.

I’m not trying to be a downer on Christians. I know many have done marvelous things to help others during this pandemic! Glory be to God for that! But at the same time, many have also been very vocal about asserting their own rights above all instead of emptying themselves to serve others. I’m sure I’m as guilty as anybody, which is why I wrote this post. I have to start with my own heart of repentance.

But it’s a struggle when I’ve had such cognitive dissonance between what I expect from fellow believers and what is reality (again, myself included).

I’m glad you have your porch community. It sounds delightful. I can see how they could be a highlight of the year.

Praying for all of us to to conclude like you do here: to want to walk in God’s will and to trust his perfection in it all. May blessings return to you as you have blessed me today (even through my tears).

I wonder how it went today, Janis, if you did return in person! I hope that it went well and that you felt very encouraged. It’s likely that only a minority have been fully vaccinated in our church (our area has a low percentage of those getting the vaccine) so we’ll need to take that under consideration as well. On the plus side, though, cases of covid are also low in our community at last.

It’s all quite complicated, but I trust, too, that the Lord will guide each of us to the right places we need to be. Blessings to you on your journey!

Thanks for this encouragement, Jerralea. You’re right that “being a bridge” might be one reason I need to go back. Jeff and I talked about it again this morning as we sat out on our deck and listened to the worship on the iPad as we watched the geese and baby goslings in the water (I will miss this part!). Our plan is to return in person on June 6, Lord willing. (But another thing I’ve learned from this past year is to hold plans very loosely! ha)

I hear you, Karen. For me, I first felt very connected when everybody went to online. We were all in it together. I looked forward to the Sunday services and gleaned much from them. But when our church reopened quicker than most, I felt more disconnected because we were still watching from home. I’m thankful for online services though. In many ways they were super helpful for me, but not in all ways. Just like in person? Sigh. Maybe it’s just a humankind problem, not a church problem….

I’m glad you found a way to continue to serve and at least feel useful. I believe there would be no grammar errors in your slides! 🙂 (I have pet peeves about church slides too. ha. I’m a mess. Lord, have mercy.)

I appreciate your decision to wear masks, even though vaccinated, until COVID numbers come down. The pandemic could have ended much sooner if everyone responded with such consideration for their fellow man. That’s the attitude I expected from fellow Christians especially, which is why I’ve been particularly troubled by the reality being so different in many places.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I struggle with being judgmental about it, and I know I have got to let go of my grudges. We’re all humans and this was a first for all of us. God has given so much grace to me this past year, I need to extend it to others, both individually and institutionally. (That’s not to say that we should condone abusive situations, but this pandemic has been confusing on many levels.)

I also agree with you that it would have been helpful if derogatory statements weren’t traded back and forth among Christians this past year. It has been painful and such a horrible witness to the world.

I appreciate you sharing your experience; it has been so cathartic to me to know that I’m not alone in my thoughts, and also not alone in working on my heart issues. Thanks, Barbara. I know you’ll always shoot straight with us. That’s a gift.

I so appreciate reading about your experience, Lynn. I admit I feel a little jealous that your church always followed protocols for the most part. I agree with you that the leaders have been under a lot of pressure though. I, too, thought about talking to our leaders, but even though I disagreed with the route they were taking, I knew they were probably getting hit from all sides from disgruntled members, and I didn’t want to be one of those. 🙁 They had (and still have) incredibly tough decisions to make, and while I disagree with some of them, I still trust that they were making the best ones they felt they could.

However, that’s only what my mind says. My heart is still trying to catch up to having a better attitude about it all.

I laugh with you about your confusion about wearing a mask, even though vaccinated, and having others assume you’re not, etc, etc. That’s exactly how my mind works too. 🙂 I get that.

I appreciate your perspective to not just leave a church without talking it out. We had several conversations with the leadership of our last church before we left in 2012, and although it was difficult, it felt right and it gave us a clear conscience.

You know you never need to apologize to me for being rambly. 🙂 I love hearing your thoughts! They never fail to help me.