Comments on: 6 Notes to Myself Before Our Next Fight

By: Aritha

Aritha — Thu, 09 Feb 2023 19:26:52 +0000

Lisa, thank you so much. Wise lesson. Good listening is crucial in a healthy relationship ans it’s important to truly pay attention and try to understand their perspective.

It helps me (sometimes) to repeat what my partner says. This shows that I am paying attention and it gives me extra time to think.

By: Paula Short

Paula Short — Sun, 05 Feb 2023 15:19:23 +0000

Lisa this is great advice. I’ve had friends in the not so distant past that when I said they hurt my feelings, they said ” wah… buckle grateful up buttercup” Which respectfully hurt my feelings more. And I tried to tell them why they responded with ” your feelings got hurt, poor you” And they didn’t offer to explain why they said what they said. I’m told I’m too sensitive. But being to sensitive it not the point in speaking like that. There are adult bullies out there. I pinned this for future reference. I am grateful you shared this as this is something that I needed to hear today.
I appreciate you sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month my friend.

By: Donna

Donna — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 22:00:14 +0000

Love your advice here, Lisa. This is loving your neighbor as yourself. Don’t we want the same when someone has hurt our feelings?

By: Jean Wise

Jean Wise — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 18:04:20 +0000

Great points. Last week I attended a workshop on “microagressions” words we use and don’t realize they hurt someone else. One point they made that in the interaction after the event was to listen openly and don’t get defensive. Then when they gave examples I kept catching myself defending, excusing and generally being defensive. I think I get on the defensive much more than I realized! New personal insight.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 23:41:53 +0000

Great reminder….and wise words. Thanks for sharing. “Taking ownership” of ones’ actions (intentional or otherwise) seems almost to be a lost art. Hmm, I was typing more but I will leave it at that:) Here’s to a month of pleasant car rides ahead!:)

By: Lesley

Lesley — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 22:26:27 +0000

These are great tips! Taking the time to listen to others instead of becoming defensive can make a big difference.

By: David

David — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 14:36:00 +0000

Powerful writing dear Lisa, strong emotions (in the heat of the moment, and in the heat of reflection). ❤️?

By: Kym

Kym — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 01:54:38 +0000

Wise advice! Why are we so quick to defend ourselves rather than just acknowledge the other person’s hurt? I guess because we’re flawed humans. But the details can be sorted out later if necessary – dry tears and provide comfort for pain now. Visiting from IMM #28

By: Tea With Jennifer

Tea With Jennifer — Mon, 16 Jan 2023 21:59:31 +0000

Great advice Lisa!

Although not always easy to put into practice in the heat of the moment.
But the important thing is that we continue to try!
blessings, Jennifer

By: Barbara Harper

Barbara Harper — Mon, 16 Jan 2023 19:15:19 +0000

Good advice. Too often, our first instinct is to defend ourselves. But we need to understand what we did or said that hurt and acknowledge the other’s feelings, even though we might not have meant to be hurtful.